Stephanie V.W. Lucianovic is a Bay Area writer and editor. Her first book Suffering Succotash: A Picky Eater's Quest to Understand Why We Hate the Foods We Hate, a humorous non-fiction narrative and exposé on the lives of picky eaters, will be released by Perigee Books on July 3. My Dearest Anderson Cooper, You need to be rewired, neurologically speaking. Let’s back up. First, I watched with sympathetic awe as you took to your talk show and admitted that you are an adult picky eater who really isn't too jazzed about the whole eating thing. Next, I got a little teary as you brought on other adult picky eaters who have long lived with the undeserved shame of their limited diets. However, when I got to the part where you attempted to eat spinach live on television, I dropped to my knees, tore my hair, rent my garments and wailed, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING ANDERSON COOPER?" Quoth Anderson, "The heart wants what the heart wants - and sometimes the heart wants McNuggets, even when they're only serving breakfast." "Spinach tastes like Wolf Blitzer's beard dipped in a salad," says potential scurvy-haver Anderson Cooper. He knows that because he ate a vegetable once. Previously - Anderson Cooper, eat your vegetables! |
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