October 28th, 2013
12:30 PM ET
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"Thank you for your service, it was excellent. That being said, we cannot in good conscience tip you, for your homosexual lifestyle is an affront to GOD."

A Carraba's waiter in Overland Park, Kansas, received the message above on the back of a credit card receipt, and local patrons are stepping up to show support for him in the form of cold, hard cash.

The handwritten note, which contained derogatory terms for gay people, went on express the customer's counsel that the 20-year-old server examine his life choices lest he be deprived of God's mercy.

In the video above, CNN affiliate KCTV shares the story of Dr. Marvin Baker, who along with many other people in the community, have gone out of their way dine in the server's section and tip heavily to show support.

How much should you tip for food delivery?
Give a snarky quip (and no tip) and thy receipt shall end up on the internet
'We are servers not servants!'

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Filed under: Restaurants • Service • Tipping

soundoff (69 Responses)
  1. Socalc

    Tipping or not is the option of the person paying the bill. It was their choice. That said, how in the world did the find out the guy was homosexual? Did he volunteer the information, of did they ask? Either way, that information is totally irrelevant to their business interaction – it need never have become a topic of discussion. I would never ask a server about such details of their lifestyle, and would never expect to hear about it.

    November 11, 2013 at 4:28 am |
    • Justin L

      While tipping is their choice, how do you reconcile them saying the service was excellent (which is what tips are traditionally based on) but them leaving no tip due to his alleged homosexuality? They can express their discontent with homosexuality all they want, but if someone provides you good services you should pay for them accordingly. Most minimum wages for tipped workers barely break $3 so he wasted his time and energy and they left him with nothing...

      November 12, 2013 at 1:04 pm |
    • SillyBoy

      If the waiter volunteered the information, I think the clients have a right to decline a tip based on their not wishing this intruded on their meal. If they asked him, that's another issue.

      November 16, 2013 at 3:50 pm |
  2. Tom

    Perfect example of people perverting their religious book. These people are no different from the Taliban. They take their book and twist its words to conform to some sick, twisted agenda. It's simply a radicalized, reactionary agenda that masquerades as religion. They probably parrot such hatred because their nut-case right-wing politicians have scared them into thinking gays are going to take over the country unless they get out and vote for their candidate. To hell with jobs and the economy – let's talk about what's really important – gay marriage! Perhaps if they were so offended by this waiter (and what made them think he was gay, anyway?) they should have asked to be seated elsewhere. People who think like that are representing us in Washington. Scary stuff.

    November 10, 2013 at 6:36 am |
    • Kevin

      Well said Tom.

      November 12, 2013 at 1:47 pm |
  3. Paws

    Sounds like to me they forgot the Golden Rule.
    They should have tipped regardless of his life style.

    The only reason they probably used this lame excuse is because they are too cheap to bothered to tip.

    November 7, 2013 at 1:49 pm |
  4. Paineinterump

    Tipping as a whole needs to be done away with. Put them on the "wage". This is simply a way for restaurants to get out of paying for their full payroll. Too many younger folk do not know what service is about. They simply write down my order, then bring it to my table. They do not deserve a very large tip. I will gladly pay WELL for good service, but will also gladly pay nothing for bad service. As for gay folks, let me stereotype, if I may. They are generally better at customer service, better organized, and I would certainly tip them well.

    November 6, 2013 at 6:33 pm |
    • Mike

      You seem to want the choice to pay for good service and not for bad. But, if tipping was abolished, your food price would be increased 25% and there would be zero incentive for these young people to even be cordial because they are getting paid either way. Are you sure you want that?

      November 12, 2013 at 3:39 pm |
      • Eric

        If everyone is expected to tip, then it's not an incentive to give good service. Most waitstaff expect to get tipped about the same one way or another. There are plenty of countries where tipping isn't expected and service is excellent.

        November 14, 2013 at 5:19 pm |
        • Jill

          That's not true (said a former server)

          November 14, 2013 at 6:23 pm |
  5. GW Bear

    They paid for a service that under normal circumstances would require them to provide a tip. They acknowledged the service and quality of the service received, so should have paid for it.

    Nobody forced them to eat at the restaurant. Note: they ate the food and accepted his service throughout the dining experience. It's hypocrisy to claim offense afterwards.

    Would they say the mechanic who repaired their car does not deserve payment, after the service was rendered? If not, then why single out the waiter?

    (How did they know the waiter was gay anyway?!)

    Gotta love how the religious folks that stiff others in the name of their religion claim a higher authority for their misdeeds...

    November 6, 2013 at 5:04 pm |
    • Logical1125

      Let's not blame Christians for these two sorry con artists that figured out a way to get out of giving a tip and feel righteous about it to boot. I loved your analogy about the mechanic because I work at a dealership and I would love to see the them try a stunt like this with Rocco our foreman. He used to be a collector for various gambling enterprises and I'm sure he has heard the God plea before. Only in his case, these patrons would be saying something more along the lines of "oh God NO! PLEASE STOP ROCCO!

      November 6, 2013 at 5:21 pm |
  6. Dan

    Cheap SOB using religion as a tool.....I hope he is looked down upon for his f'in stupidity and condemned for being unkind and unworthy of being a human being

    November 6, 2013 at 2:41 am |
  7. Timm

    What a douche...If there is a god, and I don't think there is...he wouldn't think this sh*t was kosher. F*ck bigots....

    November 5, 2013 at 11:13 pm |
  8. Rascal262

    A pair of CINO's, Christians In Name Only.

    November 1, 2013 at 9:46 am |
  9. micho rizo

    don't worry about it..you will get tips enough..this confused pig does not know any better

    October 31, 2013 at 11:21 pm |
  10. A Christian

    The problem is that many people who claim to be Christians behave in ways that are completely contrary to the central theme of Christianity, which is love one another. It causes people like J Smith to characterize all Christians in this manner, which is a tragedy. These customers are most likely patrons of Westboro Baptist Church, a church I consider to be illegitimate and a tool of evil. The message of Christ is very simple: Love God, and love one another. Also, Christians are not called to be perfect...everyone makes mistakes. It's ok to mess up, we're all sinners! What's wrong is not admitting that our mistakes ARE mistakes, and then judging others for the same actions. Peace and Love...and hopefully the waiter, who did not at all deserve that treatment and should have been treated with love and respect no matter what, will not judge all Christians based on the actions of a few.

    October 31, 2013 at 5:54 pm |
    • SpaceChief

      After 500 years on the continent with VAST majority control of politics what excuse do you, as a Christian, have for starving kids, mistreatment of veterans and elderly , massive slums and all sorts of inhuman disorders brought upon us by the utter hypocrisy "Christians" who repeatedly vote for inhumane policies?

      Now you know why the secular and atheist segment is rising. We'rew tired of all the un-Crhistian behaviors you harm others with while claiming the mantle of 'morality' when, on the whole – you're among the most vile, inhuman pricks on the planet.

      I suggest you read the works of the great patriot and agnostic – Thomas Paine, starting with "Common Sense". Your religion could learn a lot about humanity.

      November 2, 2013 at 10:13 am |
      • Logical1125

        Thomas Paine professed his belief in God on his death bed just like you will.

        November 6, 2013 at 4:03 pm |
        • Spiritus Sanctus

          Not likely. And Paine may have expressed his belief in God, but also his detest of the religions you hide behind.

          November 6, 2013 at 4:51 pm |
        • Logical1125

          Ok first I hide behind no religion. I believe there's a higher power than myself and since I grew up in a Christian household that's my personal channel. A Buddhist growing up in Asia has the same end game just a different road leading them there. Second, do some research, Paine had several witnesses to his demise that were surprised by his last minute conversion. It happens, religion is comfort food, it has been around as long as time because let's face it, no one wants to die. Thinking you are going to wake right back up in a way happier place even though you won't get to see your children, loved ones, etc... is way better than just vanishing, at least it is if your not a self-loathing bag of anger just waiting to implode. I agree there are members and even whole churches themselves that ruin the name of religion itself. They use their status or influence for bad and greed and everything else that ALL other human social groups are guilty of. You going to sit here and tell me that it's religion's fault for contributing to the demands of people's natural sense to wonder how life itself came to be?

          November 6, 2013 at 5:36 pm |
    • G Roth

      One simple premise to live by, treat people (everyone) like you want to be treated. If you can't do that then your worthless. I am not saying let people walk all over you, I spent 4 years in the corps, it can be harder to be nice but you'll feel better for it.

      November 4, 2013 at 8:32 pm |
      • Logical1125

        Ty for your service. Former Army Ranger here.

        November 6, 2013 at 5:43 pm |
  11. goatsandgreens

    Frankly, caring about a waitperson's sexual preferences is a total non started, heterosexual, homosexual or asexual. If you are going to care about this stuff, DON'T EAT OUT. Get some Fritos, mac salad, and whatever multi-nasty ingredients you can find, and hibernate with your junk food. If you are REAL: care about how the human being served you, and whether or not any delays were because of short-staff situations, before you start casting those unwieldy un-serviceable stones.

    October 30, 2013 at 7:15 pm |
  12. Alex

    I wonder... What would Jesus have done?

    October 30, 2013 at 3:57 pm |
    • Rascal262

      He would've made his own meal.

      November 1, 2013 at 9:41 am |
    • okanaduh

      he probably would have served the waiter.

      November 16, 2013 at 10:37 am |
  13. Emmi

    Well at least they were honest about it. I am sure they were not the only customers , who did not leave a tip that day.

    October 30, 2013 at 2:26 pm |
    • micho rizo

      you mean stupid about it..

      October 31, 2013 at 11:21 pm |
    • Logical1125

      That wasn't honesty. That was a mental midget meagrely trying to assuage his guilt and hide his frugality only to be publicly shamed. Who says there's no God. I bet He was laughing his robe off.

      November 6, 2013 at 4:07 pm |
  14. buongiorno

    doesnt surprise me look at the people and the country and your comments shouldnt wonder why with all the hippocrasy

    October 29, 2013 at 10:08 pm |
  15. amajorpain

    I'd have asked for a different waiter.

    October 29, 2013 at 7:30 pm |
    • RichardHead

      To do What? The young man delivered a product produced by this Chain Restaurant and did it as instructed by the Chains Instructional Manual. This is Total BS....Perhaps you should stick to Sonic or Jack in the Box....Your go to Restaurants.

      October 29, 2013 at 8:06 pm |
    • Logical1125

      Why, so your prejudice would have been just as idiotic just more efficiently hidden? Stop the hate.

      November 6, 2013 at 4:31 pm |
  16. Tim

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with the waiter. "He's goin to hell because he's gay"...What!!!? The only problem here is the psychotic christian nutjob who would ever denounce someones sexuality as a defect. Whoever wrote that statement on the back of the receipt is a ****ing lunatic

    October 29, 2013 at 7:26 pm |
  17. CJD

    I think they may be religious but don't quite get the Christian part. They seem to have missed the most important command Jesus gave which as I understand it is to "love one another as I have loved you". I'm not sure this party wants to be loved as they are loving others.

    October 29, 2013 at 1:16 pm |
  18. Mary Shannon

    I've said this before, but I don't know what someone's se* preferences have to do with their job, especially if it is a job where you're unlikely to ever see that person again. I don't need to know who you sleep with for you to perform your job responsibilities and take my order and bring me the food as requested. Nothing else is relevant to the transaction.

    October 29, 2013 at 11:44 am |
    • Mary Shannon

      That said, the customers were jerks for making it part of the transaction.

      October 29, 2013 at 11:45 am |
      • Rascal262

        Jerks is not the word that comes to mind.

        November 1, 2013 at 9:44 am |
  19. AleeD®

    How do people like this sleep at nite? How, in good conscience, can you make the excuse that you aren't tipping for good service because of someone's lifestyle? What does one have to do with the other?

    Piling on with the other commenters, how do you know he was gay? I've known several flamboyant men who were happily married. You can't tell just by looking. They would have to confide in you. (snicker)

    I hope Carrabba's has the c0jones to step up and deny service to this imbecile from all their restaurants.

    October 29, 2013 at 9:21 am |
  20. Jerv

    What a fuking horses ass for doing that. And they sure as shti ate the food the waiter brought to their table. Miserable wretches.

    October 29, 2013 at 8:48 am |
    • LL&L

      Well said!

      October 29, 2013 at 9:05 am |
  21. J Smith

    The two scumbags should be named and shamed. They paid with a credit card, so the restaurant knows who they are.

    The two idiots would have done something equally offensive 40 years ago to a black waiter, and 70 years ago to a jewish waiter. Religious nuts are always looking for someone to hate.

    October 29, 2013 at 2:27 am |
  22. ned

    I believe if they were Christian, then they would know that only god should judge people. I have never know a waiter/waitress who just casually mentions their sexual orientation. So this couple judged a person and attached that comment because they are not really Christians. Now is a good time to ask them what Jesus would have done. He would not have judged the waiter either.

    October 28, 2013 at 7:24 pm |
    • Logical1125

      Not defending the nut jobs but that waiter may have engaged them in conversation. Maybe they asked where he met his partner after he asked where they met. It's not uncommon for a good waiter to create rapport by talking about his personal life, but who cares if he is married to another dude? It boils down to prejudice and stupidity. I hope these two get food poisoning the next time they are served by a "straight" waiter and a gay doctor has to give them both enemas.

      November 6, 2013 at 4:16 pm |
  23. Frank Javier

    I am a Christian, and I know that it is never ever appropriate to belittle another fellow brother or sister. It is never okay to turn your back or treat people differently than you would anyone else just because they sin differently then you do! By judging anyone and making the choice to treat them differently, you have committed just as much sin as they have. may God have mercy on you. I am so disappointed in my fellow brother/sister, however i hope that others do not judge us christians or any one based on this one persons lack of sensitivity to another persons life. God bless you all, and have a good day.

    October 28, 2013 at 5:33 pm |
    • WarrenT

      Thank you Frank... You are the type of true Christian I've grown to known and love. The person(s) who did this seriously need to re-examine their relationship with God and learn to "take the plank out of their own eye" first.

      October 29, 2013 at 10:02 am |
    • Liz

      This is worded beautifully. Thank you.

      October 30, 2013 at 8:19 pm |
    • Logical1125

      This was a good comment except your subtle attempt to qualify sexual orientation different from your own as a sin. I too am a Christian but I don't believe it's a sin. Jesus never condemned the practice and everyone knows there are certain passages that just can't be applied in real life. True Christianity is acceptance of Jesus as your own personal savior and then sharing love not hate with the rest of the World. I'm sure you agree with what I'm saying so don't be so sure that being gay is a sin, they were created that way and God had His own reasoning for doing so. We all sin that's for sure, but in this transaction the only sins committed were greed and hate, both committed by the patrons. This waiter did not sin by being gay. He is just trying to get through this life as happily as possible, if he found a partner that makes that possible for him then God bless him.

      November 6, 2013 at 4:29 pm |
  24. edwin

    That's a Christian for you.

    October 28, 2013 at 4:55 pm |
    • It never fails...

      That's stereotyping for you...

      October 28, 2013 at 5:31 pm |
    • J Smith

      No kidding. The attitude of many christians is, "I can pray and be forgiven, but you're going to hell."

      October 29, 2013 at 2:28 am |
      • Logical1125

        As opposed to most atheists using their rage by attacking religious comments simply because a practice as old as time itself comforts us in knowing that we have something to look forward to when we die. I personally see oblivion as an acceptable albeit useless alternative, but if it's not even an option I definitely don't want to break the rules of the Bro who set this whole thing up!!

        November 6, 2013 at 4:53 pm |
  25. cali girl

    Kharma comes back to those who even spew hatred.

    October 28, 2013 at 2:57 pm |
    • J Smith

      Karma is a bisque.

      October 29, 2013 at 2:29 am |
      • AleeD®

        ...a thick, creamy, seafood soup? ^_^

        October 29, 2013 at 9:22 am |
        • RC@AleeD®

          Mmm........thick and creamy..........

          October 29, 2013 at 10:24 am |
  26. Arthur in the Garden!

    Big question. How did they know he was gay? I am sure they just assumed as most do not share their personal lives with patron.

    October 28, 2013 at 1:57 pm |
    • mgcady

      I'm wondering that too, but you know... it shouldn't matter.

      The waiter was a waiter providing what the customers confessed to as being excellent service. Whatever the customers thought they knew or actually knew about his orientation, they should not have stiffed him on his tip.

      October 29, 2013 at 1:06 pm |
    • Logical1125

      Lots of good waiters build rapport by talking about their personal lives. " my husband and I met there" or "my partner and I love that hotel." I think you get the point. Why should a gay man have to hide that? It's not right.

      November 6, 2013 at 4:57 pm |
  27. Jdizzle McHammerpants ♫♫

    How did they know he was gay? Did he tell them? I find vegans and gay people tend to go out of their way to tell you details about themselves that I did not inquire, nor care, about.

    October 28, 2013 at 1:49 pm |
    • Jim

      I think you might misunderstand. If you are surrounded by people that are rude or ignorant most of the time, you have to keep up coping mechanism. There's a lot of hate hgoing around especially with the anomnimity or certain arenas.

      October 28, 2013 at 9:41 pm |
    • Logical1125

      Lots of good waiters build rapport by talking about their personal lives. ” my husband and I met there” or “my partner and I love that hotel.” I think you get the point. Why should a gay man have to hide that? If a straight waiter mentions that their wife's trailer home looks like yours, would you be so assumptive that they were secretly trying to force their lifestyle on you?

      November 6, 2013 at 5:01 pm |
  28. TobyK

    That customer was rude and ignorant. And they call themselves Christian? Please.

    October 28, 2013 at 1:10 pm |
    • Jdizzle McHammerpants ♫♫

      This is why I don't go to church. Half the people there are ****ing each other then look down at you for what you wore to church.

      October 28, 2013 at 1:51 pm |
      • Logical1125

        Wait you don't go because half the people there are sleeping with each other? What's your deal, and more importantly what's the address to this church you got me interested in?

        November 6, 2013 at 5:41 pm |
    • J Smith

      A christian is someone who believes in the fiction of cheezus christ, whether you agree with their repulsive views or not. The KKK are christians, aryan nations scumbags are christians, and Jeffrey Dahmer was a christian. Denying that the two at the restaurant were christians is to bear false witness, which is one of the "ten commandments" that many christians think should be made into laws.

      October 29, 2013 at 2:35 am |
      • Logical1125

        You have no idea what you are talking about. For one, if I claim Christianity and then do something that completely contradicts that religion's doctrine then it's not bearing false witness to call me out on that. Let me put it in a way a brain like yours might understand. You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still just a pig.
        Now for the association part of your inconsistent rant. KKK, and Jeffrey Dahmer may have claimed what they wanted but if guilty by association is your argument then first off you're an imbecile because anyone can be associated with pretty much anything. It doesn't speak to motivation, it just means that in some aspect of their life they were associated with a certain group. Are you a baby killer because of your membership to humanity?

        November 6, 2013 at 5:13 pm |
      • Logical1125

        Oh and FYI most laws are based on the Ten Commandments clown.

        November 6, 2013 at 5:15 pm |
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