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God Bless Frozen Strawberry Daiquiris. Soon we will have another "sacrifice" to the great god, Blendar. We will throw fresh/frozen fruit, juices, spirits and ice into his chasm. We will dance and electrify him/her (there is a debate at this very moment) and if our offerings are good enough, the great god Blendar (bless his chilly soul) will grant us his blessings of frozen goodness. All hail the great god Blendar!
Rental would be the way to go here (the wheelchair, not the diapers)...
Working out of different location today, almost forgot my music notes.
JOKE OF THE DAY:
Woman Sues, Lack Of Sex Drive
A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, Anne Maynard, has sued St Luke’s hospital, saying that after her husband was treated there recently, he had lost all interest in sex.
A hospital spokesman replied, "Mr. Maynard was actually admitted in Ophthalmology – but all we did was correct his eyesight."
This is just sad. 'MERICA
http://www.weather.com/travel/modern-ruins-abandoned-detroit-photos-20130715
OK, after Jdizz completely burst my bubble, I'll go back to work now... *sigh*
Have a good afternoon.
=(
Save dat monies!!!!
Plan B – If ever in need of adult diapers, find nearest bridge, hold hands with Jdizz and ....
Or you can buy them from me. We sell those here, too. We can have wheel chair race to the bridge. We rent and sell those here, too.
Happy Turdsday everyone! Yes, my Dr. Hogly Wogly experiment yesterday was underwhelming, I will have to wait to go to Nancy's BBQ in Sarasota, FL in a few weeks! Now for the question:
How much do you need to retire (not in brisket RH)? Personally, do you have a figure in mind??
I seem to be thinking about this A LOT lately...hmmm.
All depends on your lifestyle and how you want to live. To get an idea wrapped around your head, If you had a million dollars in investments with an annual net of 0.4%, you'd have $40,000 to spend. Don't cash out your investments until you approach the point where you will need full time care because basic assisted living can easily cost $60,000 a year and and does not include any additional medical costs.
You think raising a child is expensive? Just wait.
About a net worth of $4-9 mil depending on when you retire.
A good question is what do you want to eat in retirement, hamburger or steak?
oops, hit post too soon.
There are many factors. Most everything you have should be paid off by then. Your goal is to be debt free for a while by then, so your expenses will be different. Inflation over the period of your retirement needs to be a huge factor in goal setting. For example, cost of living now from even 13 years ago is SIGNIFICANTLY higher, ie: gas in 2000 : $120/gal, gas in 2013: $3.75/gal. over $300 increase in a very short amount of time.
Social security recipients have been getting benefits cut, Medicare will not exist in it's current state and insurance premiums in your 80's will be in the thousands per month.
$100,000 in 1980 = about $280,000 today when you factor inflation.
Go see a financial advisor.if you're serious.
Me? I'm just going to jump off a bridge when I'm 70
edit:
gas in 2000: $1.20/gal (not 120)
over 300% increase (not $300)
Typing too fast at work
Jdizz – Good points (except jumping off the bridge)!
Weeds – 0.4% return, yikes. My return on a very conservative 401k avg is 5.5%, last year 10.5%, an agressive IRA is at 80% return overall on the last 10 years...
Mary – No SSA will be relied on until later years when I'm too old/tired to travel and have fun! :)
You have to consider a lot of your "return" the last 6 years comes from a recovering economy that was in the tank. an average ROR is normally around 7% over a 10 year period. You'll see some unusually wild rate of returns since 2007 that make your advisor look like a genius when in reality one is either recouping what they lost in the first place, or is happening to ride the wave of crappy stocks that are returning to form again, not necessarily producing better results than 10 years ago.
So, factor in an average rate of inflation of 3.5%, your rate of return of 5.5% is actually 2%
A good example is the DOW ave the last 5 years. 35% rate of return/improvement when in actuality it is only 4% higher than before the crash.
I used to have the figure of $1 million in mind, with a rate of return of 10%, $100k a year to live on in a style I've become accustomed :), travel, etc. Now I'm thinking maybe less...
Assisted living?? Isn't that why we had kids??
You think your kid will want to wipe your azz for you?
It depends on what you want to "do" during your retirement. If you plan to travel a lot, you'll need more $$ to support your home as well as travel. Of course, if you're not in the workplace you'll be able (theoretically) to spend less on commuting, clothing and meals while at work, but you'll also have more free time for shopping.
Whatever you decide, try to not factor social security into it since I doubt it will be around for long.
Travel is big on my "to do" list for retirement, first class and steak. My house will be paid off in about 10 years and I have a vacation home in WA (near said kids to take care of me in old age), so expenses would be minimal, except maybe healthcare....
One-Million-Dollars...
Shouldn't that be ONE BILLION DOLLARS? bwwwwaaaa
Good morning. Thanks, Truth, yes, the humidity is up and up and so is the heat. It is currently 84 degrees with 91% humidity....swim through the air.
Congrats to House of Cards on the Emmy nomination! That's a fabulous show and I highly recommend it. Its not only available on Netflix, also on other "on demand video" vendors and its well worth it. Kevin Spacey is excellent in the lead role.
One more recommendation – Coppers on BBC America....another very good choice.
Yep my Pops is hooked on Coppers and He ll on Wheels. I love Spacey so I'll be checking out H of C. Thanks.
Let me know what you think about H of C.
Big fan of Fast and Loud and the copy cat show of it Counting Cars. Neither Emmy worth sadly.
Good morning all, from a not-yet too warm and toasty Denver. Many condolences to those who are sweltering (nods to Mary Shannon)...How is everyone doing today?
The moderators of the 49ers.com forums suspended my account for 3 days for posting a picture of a dog sporting a pink rocket. Guess they thought it was indecent. That was my response to the news of the discovery of Cuban missiles on a N Korean ship recently.
It's a family friendly site, but I guess that qualifies as p0rn or something, lol. The moderators there are iffy sometimes. Sort of like the ModBot here. You'll see people phonetically cursing to avoid the filter and nothing happens, but someone posts something like a picture of a pile of dog crap and their account gets suspended for a few day. Some people need to loosen up. Guess I'll have to actually work today and tomorrow.
I spend 3 times as much time there than I do here these days.
My account on the Niners site was never approved. Guess they knew I was associated with you.
Took me about 2 years and several tries myself. They deal with a lot of SPAM registrations. Seems if you put in the number 49 somewhere in your name, it pushes things through. And write a person's name the referenced you there in the box. Then they know you are a real person.
Doing well and hot as a mutha. How is Miss Saigon doing??
Hello class! I need a vote here...hubs is planning on picking up some Barbie-Q for dinner, so our choices are:
a. The Bear Pit – http://bearpitbbq.com/
b. Dr. Hogly Wogly's – http://hoglywogly.com/
Thoughts? Votes?? :)
If it ain't Texas Brisket-Well, You know the rest. Barf.....
Well, Dr. Hogly Wogly says Tyler Texas Barbie-Q, and The Bear Pit is from my very own Missourah, and since I can't really send hubs to Texazz today, which is it pal?
HMMMMM....East Texas BBQ,versus Tri-Tip Whatever???? I'd hit the French Restaurant Drive Thru-La Jacque.
You mean Jacque En Zee Baux tacos would be preferred?
Merci Beaucoup-with Hot Sauce. Oh, and a Large chocolate shake.
Roger that, but not today...Jacque will have to wait. My unrefined Barbie-Q taste buds will do just fine with the other...hoping for the Bear Pit personally. :)
Hogly Wogly?!? Y'all shore tawk phunnee up'air.
Um, and this comes from your fine state with Piggly Wiggly's or is Winn Dixie? And he's a Dr. so it must be legit, right?
Yup! And don't forget about Pubix. ^_^
I would say The Bear Pit. Dr. Hogly Wogly is not in my PPO, and his co-pay is insane.
Yep, I checked he's not in my PPO either... I just checked my bank acct online, and looks like I'm getting Hogly Wogly for dinner...hubs used the ATM. I'll report back tomorrow...
Ha! Hogly Wogly must be on JB's PPO. ^_^
A Hogly Wogly update from JBJ...Not that good IMHO. Well,Go figure.:)))
There seriously needs to be increased DMV testing and evaluation once people reach a certain age. Some 81 year old came in today, didn't know his own birthday. He said it was Feb 32. We informed him there are only 28 days in Feb. Of course, we were curious and watched him walk out to the parking lot. Sure enough, he fumbles with some keys for 3 minutes and gets into the driver seat of a Ford Ranger. Almost hits another motorist backing out of his spot, they honk, he continues. Never saw or heard them. Drives off.
My favorite is when I'm literally YELLING at someone because they can't hear me, they sign papers where ever they feel like it because they can't see, then they get in a car and drive away afterward. These are the people killing pedestrians. Increased DMV visits are needed.
Agreed. After the age of say, 70, drivers should have to go thru a yearly renewal process. Those who want to continue driving would be required to submit to a practical driving test, a vision test & a hearing test. Vision would include testing both near- & far-sightedness (like a written test and reading street signs for Christ's sake) and hearing test for tones that include sirens, horns and people yelling.
That would certainly increase employment opportunities.
While we're venting, to the idiots driving during sunrise & sunset, you must have your headlights turned on 1/2 an hour before sunrise and 1/2 an hour before sunset – not just when YOU think it's light enough for you to see. If you don't see the actual sun, TURN ON YOUR F()*&^KING HEADLIGHTS! It's not because you need to see the road, it's so the other person coming out of her morning coffee stop and into traffic can see YOUR car.
Have a nice day.
LIKE!!!!
My husband's aunt is 88. Totally whiffed the eyesight portion of the DMV test and still got her license renewed! Terrifying.
LIKE!!!!!!
These are the days I'm glad I work inside. Was 80 degrees already at 8am.
I second that. It is getting up to 95 here in Richmond VA.
Some soon to be ex employee forwarded a petition to everyone in the work email directory. Thousands of people. And then had the audacity to argue with the top HR rep that copied and pasted direct from policy and procedures that this is prohibitied.
Dang. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot ...
I accidentally did that at Wells Fargo in a way. I FWD an e-mailed EVENT within Outlook (not reply-all, mind you) to a former co-worker in another branch. The e-mail was essentially me complaining, complete with curse words, to the coworker about how different and crappy things were within the bank in WI compared to Alaska. The event was a night of staying after work to perform cold-calls, essentially telemarketing bank products.
Turns out that even though I didn't necessarily reply, the originator of the e-mail received a copy of the forwarded message. Not sure how. Anyway, I heard about it. That was a big OOPS.
So I was wondering what the big deal was about the "names" of the Asiana Airlines pilots was. So I looked and watched the news broadcast....
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
HA....It reminds me of the old times....something we would have done. They deserved to get Punked,and they said it with a straight face.
Blows my mind how no one caught it before air. Must have no sense of humor.
Perhaps they were looking at it with a slanted point of view?
The KTVU Associate Producer's name for that broadcast is Wi Tu Dum.
And tell us please, who doesn't remember Robert DeNiro on Saturday Night Live reading those weird terrorist names. That entire news staff must be all belong to Scientology or something because they obviously are isolated from the real world and especially any sense of freshman humor. I tend to believe they did this on purpose to get their TV station on the map.
KTVU has been on the air for many years. It's a Cox and Fox News Affiliate, NOT NBC. So What is Your Point?
My point being, any one who watched or heard of the sketch, would have had bells going off in their heads just reading these names. I laughed so hard watching this poor news reporter and at the end of that segment her lips did twinge a bit, holding back a smile.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XMr3QO2Sbc
Uh huh huh huh. you said Cox. Do you like fish stix?
There is one less young intern at the NTSB currently due to this flap.
Flaps at 30 degrees........and No one has named who or whom released the names. Let's blame Jerv.:)))
Yeah, the only thing I heard about an intern was some summer intern stepped outside their authority (didn't know summer interns have authority of anything) and confirmed the names as correct. Having server issues at the moment so I can't go read the article I read earlier.
LOL, too!
Good morning! Another heat wave started yesterday in the NE, this one should last all week. Strange weather all over, though, I just got off the phone with a man from France who is having 95 degree weather, too.
Have a good week!
You think you have it bad. My friends living in the Caribbean are telling the sun is blazing so strong that its bleaching the sun tans right off of them.
stupid keyboard
Ahh, the Caribbean, now if I was there with the trade winds I wouldn't care about the temps, either.
" Put Down those Twinkies...We ARE Watching You " Brought to you as a Public Service announcement by The White House Transparency Group. Enjoy your week Everyone.