 Last Sunday was just an average morning for Anna Kaye MacLean. Her sister, 7-year-old Arianna, had slept over at her house the night before and seemed to have woken up in a good mood - which is not always a given for a child with autism. After determining that Arianna’s mood was stable enough for a day of fun activities outside the home, MacLean and her husband decided to take Arianna out to lunch, with a bonus visit to the Easter Bunny afterward. They decided to eat lunch at the Chili’s Bar and Grill in Midvale, Utah, where a beautiful thing happened - and went viral. MacLean requested a booth facing the window, knowing it would allow her sister the freedom to move around, while also keeping her entertained by watching what was going on outside. The hostess happily obliged and said their server would be over to greet them soon. The MacLean party was going to be one of Lauren Wells' last tables of the day, and with a bright smile, she approached the party to introduce herself and take drink orders. Before she could even say, “Hi, welcome to Chili’s, I’m Lauren and I’ll be your waitress,” Arianna had excitedly rattled off her entire order: chocolate milk, a cheeseburger with pickles and a side of fries. Wells delivered the food shortly, but as MacLean watched Arianna devour her French fries, she noticed that her sister wasn’t touching her cheeseburger. “It was really, really bizarre,” MacLean told CNN in a phone interview. “Arianna loves anything in a hamburger bun. She’s obsessed with hamburgers or ‘Krabby Patties,’” an ode to one of Arianna’s favorite cartoon shows, Spongebob Squarepants. MacLean asked her sister if she was going to eat her cheeseburger. “No, I don’t want it,” Arianna responded. “It’s broked. I need a new one that’s fixed.” It’s a standard Chili’s policy to cut a child’s burger in half to ensure the meat is fully cooked to 170° degrees, and that's what was "broken." When Wells returned to the table, she noticed Arianna was crying, and asked what was the matter. "I know this is going to sound silly, but I need to order another cheeseburger," MacLean told the server. Wells had a concerned look on her face and MacLean was quick to assure her that there was nothing wrong with the food. "No, no, no, this one is fine," she explained, "But it’s cut in half and she thinks it's broke.'” MacLean quietly told Wells about Arianna’s autism and adamantly said she wanted to pay for the additional burger. But instead of speaking to MacLean, Wells leaned over to the little girl and addressed her directly, saying, “Ohmygosh! I brought you a broken cheeseburger! I’ll go get you a new one.” Arianna stopped crying shortly after. MacLean, particularly moved by this, said Wells' exchange with her sister was something she had never experienced before. “I think most people, just out of fear and the unknown, don’t know how to interact with a kid with autism, so people will usually just keep the interaction with me.” When necessary, MacLean explains her sister's condition. Wells graduated from the University of Utah in May 2012 with a degree in psychology and hopes to do social work with children in the future. She also has an autistic family member, and said that while she thought Arianna might be autistic, she never assumes anything. “I treated her the same way that [I would] any other kid who would be crying, but in her case, it was something different,” said Wells. She approached her manager Brad Cattermole, who told her they would happily switch out the broken burger for a new one. Cattermole, too, stopped by the table and knelt down to speak with Arianna at eye level to apologize again. “You know, I heard we brought you a broken cheeseburger and I am so sorry. We’re back there making you a new one, but let me bring you out some french fries while you’re waiting.” MacLean says one of the main reasons the exchange was so special was Wells' and Cattermole's decision to speak to Arianna directly. “It was so cool because it was so intimate. [Brad] wasn’t trying to be loud or trying to make his presence know to anybody else. It was just very, very private, very intimate,” said MacLean. “Our goal is to make guests feel special, so anything we can do to make an experience over the top of special, we give our servers the power to make the decisions to make that happen,” said Cattermole in a phone interview with CNN. “We’re trying to get each server to connect to each table individually and Lauren is amazing at connecting with our guests.” MacLean noticed that, surprisingly, Arianna wasn’t upset about the cheeseburger. In fact, she was uncharacteristically calm about the entire situation. “This was so bizarre because usually, that would have just led to a huge meltdown,” MacLean said, adding that a typical meltdown for Arianna could include tantrums, throwing herself on the floor and general screaming - sometimes getting so violent that she could even physically hurt herself. “I think what prevented the meltdown was that Lauren and Brad were talking to her. They weren’t talking to me, they were talking to her.” Several minutes later, when the new, unbroken cheeseburger arrived, Arianna stared at it for a few moments before exclaiming, “Oh, I missed you!” and kissing the top of the burger bun. MacLean quickly snapped a picture and showed it to Wells, jokingly telling her “I think we glorified the cheeseburger a little too much.” Wells, lighting up like a Christmas tree and smiling from ear to ear, asked if she could show the picture to her co-workers and manager. “It was a cute story. I’ve never heard of a broken cheeseburger, or anything else ‘broken’ for that matter,” said Wells, explaining that she wanted to share it with her coworkers because it was such a sincere interaction. “It was just a really, really touching experience just to see that kind of compassion and professionalism,” said MacLean. “[Lauren] could have easily just been like, ‘Okay...’ and gone to get her a new one. But she went above and beyond and I feel like everybody involved that was working that day from the hostess to the line cook, just everybody, was super, super amazing. It’s just not something that we’re used to when we have situations like that come up.” MacLean, who works in customer service for an insurance company and recognizes good service when she sees it, decided to share her story on Chili's Facebook page. The story quickly went viral (it has been shared near 160,000 times and liked by more than 667,000 people) touching hearts around the nation. MacLean hopes it does more than that, though; she hopes it helps people recognize that not every kid screaming in a restaurant is an uncontrollable brat. “While we’ve never had a personal experience like this, we know people who have been asked to leave restaurants when their kid with autism starts getting out of hand. It’s so heartbreaking,” said MacLean. While MacLean and Arianna have never been told to leave a restaurant, they have had experiences where Arianna has gotten too overwhelmed or overstimulated at the table. Other people haven't always understood her autism, and MacLean has chosen on her own accord to leave. Arianna will sometimes growl while she is eating. MacLean believes that it may be a sensory thing that Arianna chooses to do, or that she may like the feel of growling while she eats her food. Fellow patrons haven't always understood. “We’re used to it and it’s fine, but there were some people sitting next to us and they got up and moved clear across to the other side of the restaurant because it was bothering them so bad.” The lack of understanding can be frustrating, says MacLean. When Arianna is having a meltdown, most people think she’s just being a brat and that she's being babied. The older sister can't deliver a disclaimer about Arianna’s autism everywhere she goes, but if people are interested she will tell them. The tone of the interaction invariably changes - but words are always directed toward MacLean and never Arianna. This made Wells' and Cattermole's interactions with Arianna all the more special. “It’s so silly," MacLean said, "but I know every person out there that has a kid with autism can relate. That broken cheeseburger can make or break our day and it made our day, and the rest of the day was great.” MacLean admitted that she never meant for the Facebook post to go viral; rather, she wanted to recognize Wells and Cattermole for their stellar ability to connect with Arianna on a human level. “It’s not so much that we need to bring autism awareness on a customer service level," she said, "but on a normal, typical social human being interaction. Being sensitive to people whether they have autism or they don’t.” “I think this stuff happens more often than people recognize,” Cattermole said, “but it was Anna going on to spend 15 minutes to recognize a job well done which led to this outpouring of support.” Wells agreed, saying that while it was definitely a table she wouldn’t forget, she never expected the response MacLean’s story received. She went on to explain that her interaction with the family didn’t seem weird or out of the ordinary to her. “It makes me so sad that this is [considered] abnormal,” said Wells. “I was just being myself. I didn’t expect any of this; it’s been overwhelming but definitely cool.” Chili’s parent company Brinker International Restaurants echoed Cattermole's and Wells’ sentiments in an official statement emailed to CNN. “Moments like the one from Midvale happen in our restaurants every day, at every table, at every Chili’s across the country. We are delighted by the shining examples in Lauren Wells, Brad Cattermole and the Midvale team, and their kind gestures that made Arianna, Anna and Alex [MacLean's husband] feel so incredibly special. This story made our Midvale team members heroes, and we are so proud to have so many local heroes in our restaurants nationwide who make everyday moments like Arianna’s so heartwarming.” MacLean has since read the hundreds of comment from strangers on her Facebook post, many of whom admitted they have never thought of something like that when encountering a screaming child at a restaurant. Her hope is that the next time they see a kid being a little different they might just think, "Maybe they have autism; maybe there’s something a little more than meets the eye.” And for the record, Chili's didn’t charge for the new, “unbroken” cheeseburger. Has your family been touched by autism? Have you run into either positive or sticky situations in restaurants? 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Because my grandson is on the spectrum I often recognize when someone else is on the spectrum. I work part time with a photography company that does high school senior photos and prom and ring dance photos. I was recently talking to a young man who was having his senior photos made and the father approached me and told me that his son was autistic. I replied that I thought he might be. The father said that the young man didn't understand anything i said. My response was that he might not but then again we really didn't know what he understood and retained since he was nonverbal. Amazingly the young man smiled slightly. I always try to compliment special needs kids at the dances and at photography sessions and the responses are always positive!
If Ms. Wells or Mr. Cattermole ever consider employment at a hospital in Ventura, CA or Detroit, MI in customer service or even social work (after attaining a degree), you are more than welcome to contact me. Respond to the post and I will email you back. Thank you very much for being a shining example.
This was a great story until:
“Moments like the one from Midvale happen in our restaurants every day, at every table, at every Chili’s across the country."
Seriously? They obviously not been to the same Chilies that I have..
Sometimes when I'm having a bad day, I'll come back and re-read this story. The waitress and the manager are my kind of people.
Frightening now i will by no means purchase a single again
I'm now not certain the place you are getting your information, however great topic. I must spend a while studying more or working out more. Thank you for excellent info I used to be on the lookout for this information for my mission.
Those of us on here connected to someone with Autism inherently understand that situation. But instead of arguing and focusing on the negative, why not talk about the joyful things or the funny things sometimes? I was a foster parent of a girl with autism. I will call her "Kimmy". Kimmy spoke in third person a lot. So if I said " I am going to the store" Kimmy may say "you wanna go with me" which really meant I want to go with you. One day, we were in a Steak and Shake restaurant. Kimmy (seated in a vinyl booth) passed gas VERY loudly! I mean the entire restaurant heard it and turned to look at us. Red faced, I whispered "Kimmy what do you say?" as we were always working on manners and social skills. Kimmy stood up and loudly said "YOU NEED TO GO POOPY!!" So obviously, the whole place thought I had done it and Kimmy was chastising me for it! Thanks "Kimmy" :) Love that kid :)
To the people that think you can "discipline" a child out of autism and that this is spoiled bratty behavior. I have three kids, TWO on the spectrum, ONE not. So you are telling me that I parent my ONE child differently then the other TWO. Really? And she is my middle child to boot, so no, I did not change my parenting methods at the end or the beginning.
I am so happy that this story has gotten the attention that it truly deserves! I have an adult Asperger friend, 46 years old, who I call Joe King, just to save his true identity. Joe has been homeless and without a job for the past 11 years and I met him while driving my bus route 4 years ago. Joe has high functioning Aspergers which puts him off the charts in physics and mechanical engineering, however, Joe has problems with spelling and writing and will meltdown in a heartbeat if you try to make him do something. Joe frequently says " I would not trade the upside to get rid of the downside" , but he pays a price of being homeless and penniless. If you would like to hear more about my friend Joe, please go here: http://tinyurl.com/pu5onmf
Please see my research. It might help find a cure.
http://www.slideshare.net/khawar.nehal/khawar-autism-presentation27april20131
http://www.atrc.net.pk/cms2/index.php/component/content/article?id=101
Heya i am for the primary time here. I found this board and I find It really useful & it helped me out a lot. I hope to provide one thing back and help others like you helped me.
Edit
How to fix autism by Khawar Nehal
Date : 13 April 2013
I first found out about autism when I say the movie mercury rising. That was many years ago. About max 1 year after the movie was released.
Then I did some reading and found that it could be related to mercury and heavy metals.
This was based on information where mothers said they saw their child become autistic two weeks after being vaccinated. The vaccines in large bottles had 60% mercury as a preservative because multiple needles are used and multiple shots can be given. This reduces costs. The capitalistic allopathic medicine makers countered this information in as many ways they could.
Then the information is based on chelation therapy. After getting the heavy metals out of the kids over 2 years the kids are better. Meaning the symptoms of autism are significantly or completely gone.
Some doctors in the NATO countries have lost their license for practicing allopathy because they allowed chelation therapy.
The allopathic capitalists countered with a case where a kid died. In this case a chemical was used for chelation accidentally which was not DMSA but a chemical with a similar sounding name.
DMSA can still be used to reduce the heavy metals.
A woman wrote a book recently about how to avoid autism in your kids. In her research she found that autism children have a leaky gut and gastrointestinal problems. This causes the guts to lose iron to the outside of the body. Iron in the body prevents heavy metals from getting inside and accumulating in the body. If the iron levels drop, then the heavy metals accumulate. If heavy metals accumulate then the child or person becomes autistic.
I read many years ago that alzihemers might be linked to aluminum. No idea who found that out but I used to pester my wife to buy expensive heavy steel pots instead of aluminum ones. One time she explained that aluminum pots spread the heat better. So I even saw a Rs 4500 pot which was steel on top and had a 1 cm thick aluminum base. Most expensive pot I ever saw or bought. Spreads the heat evenly and only steel touches the food. This was in a shop in Mohammad Ali society in Karachi.
There was one research I read about where they take a hair sample of a kid and check for aluminum content. The autistic kids have more aluminum in their hair samples. So the autism is linked to aluminum. Other metals like chromium, copper and some more are also accumulated not just aluminum.
If a human kid eats cement from the walls, dust, earth or other such stuff, then the kid is low in iron. This I learned from the Internet and some americans know this. A kid shall have a cookie in one hand and earth in another and the earth shall automatically be eaten. This is some built in human reaction to get iron into the body. I found this out because I know more than one kid eating earth.
Allopathic doctors can increse iron levels fast by a blood transfusion and iron supplements. Other natural and better ways are to eat iron rich foods. If the kid or person is allergic to many iron rich foods, then you need to stop their consumption of junk foods and processed foods. This shall reduce their allergies of foods over time and then they can eat iron rich or any other foods like a natural human.
I read a bit about iron. There is no way a body can excrete iron. All iron is recycled from dead cells. Iron is required for cell replication. If there is too little iron the heavy metals may accumulate and the person becomes autistic. But bacteria also cannot replicate easily. So the human becomes less prone to sickness. If there is too much iron then there can be other complications and the human can get bacterial infections more easily because the foreign bacterias can access more iron for their replication.
Autistic children have a gut issue. Some cases say it may be due to allergies and gluten. So the first thing they do is transfer to a gluten free diet and the iron stop leaking and the heavy metals reduce and the autistic symptoms reduce consideraably. You also need to complement with a iron rich diet. Measure the iron level carefully not to over do it or else high iron issues may start. This iron fixing process can take months to two years. Better to do is slowly and naturally then too fast.
There may be other reasons and types of autism. But this is my research so far. I hope people can help avoid the misinformation being spread by the allopathic companies and get results.
The FDA banned multiple doctors from chelation therapy and after many years of stopping them, came out recently with an expensive drug with many side effects and does not cure the issue. Just sort of pacifies. Like a pain killer that they like to sell. Never fix the root cause but kill the pain and alarm. Pay the right affordable amount for ever in the name of hope.
Other countries who used DMSA to reduce heavy metals over a six month research found that autism symptoms were reduced by a measurable and about 20 – 30%. So it seems like in 2 years you can fix it.
There have been many cases where they can fix in 6 months but I would not want to take hopes up so fast.
Procedure,
1. check heavy metal levels,
2. check iron levels,
3. check leaky gut symptoms.
4. Change foods to fix gut issues.
5. Fix iron levels with food or other methods
6. Chelate with DMSA if in a hurry. (The FDA is going to be furious because DMSA is a low cost drug).
7. Measure symptoms. Do not let iron levels exceed normal levels.
8. Inshallah you shall have cured autism completely.
Disclaimer :
I am not afraid of the FDA because I do not have an MBBS degree to lose. I am a researcher who is reporting and summarizing what I read.
You can check this information and all research before taking any responsibility.
Do not even think of blaming me if you cause problems. You are doing everything at your own risk and responsibility.
I do not represent any FDA, NGO, or drug company. I do not even know who makes or patents DMSA.
I am providing this information so you can check it before use and also provide some feedback of any other info you can find and summarize for the assistance of others against the major propaganda which I have seen by the drug companies.
The doctors may know this but cannot practice it without the risk of losing their license to work. Many doctors have lost their work permits for this.
But mothers have had results on their own.
Actually most of this information is available from the work done by mothers who refused to take no as an answer to a solution to their kids issues.
Non NATO countries which are not linked to the capitalist banking system have done actual scientific research to corroborate the heavy metal and DMSA information.
So please check this information and lets get cracking to a solution instead of worrying about it.
Regards,
Khawar Nehal
http://www.atrc.net.pk/cms2/index.php/component/content/article?id=101
Chelation kills and you're a moonbat.
There is much valid information about autism in this post. It is true that all this information, and more, can be gathered on the Web. This person has put a lot of it together in a way that I find quite coherent. Gene complexes associated with autism have been studied, and more is being learned by researchers every day. But too little of that work has been translated into allopathic clinical practice. If you're in the U.S. and you want to treat autism, you can see a competent naturopathic physician who practices in that area, and they can help you implement the plan outlined above. I have a gene complex that makes it hard for my body to eliminate heavy metals. (A chelation challenge test 5 years ago revealed that the heavy-metal burden in my body was very high–the lead level was literally off the chart.) I've undertaken most of the measures this post recommends. My brain is much healthier for it. I was not diagnosed on the autistic spectrum as a child, but I have the diagnosis now, as an adult. I'm very high-functioning; in fact, I'm an information scientist, with a job. I stay high-functioning by eating a diet that works for my brain, gut and immune system; taking a mild chelator every day (malic acid); daily iron supplement; getting regular blood work (I work with an excellent naturopath) and adjusting mineral supplements as needed; exercising daily and generally living a very healthy lifestyle–because if I don't, my quality of life plummets. It's very motivating to feel better and think better from doing the things on that list! I'm not a big fan of DMSA or EDTA (chelators used medically for heavy-metal elimination) because they were too strong for my body to handle. But over time the malic acid seems to have helped me a lot. Eating a plant-based diet helps, too, because the body can eliminate heavy metals via the digestive system. Fiber not only helps them move along and out, it can bind some metals as well. In short, there is plenty that can be done to help, even by one person acting alone, if you have the right information and are willing to try some of these things that do no harm.
This is the third story I have read involving acts of kindness by Chil's servers. If I take my high functioning autistic 8 year old out for dinner, it's going to be at Chil'is.
a kind act is a kind act. People are so critical. Worry about yourself, and don't leave rude comments. This is a beautiful story and if you disagree, don't waste your time commenting.
I applaud the family and the servers for the way they handled the situation – but I also understand the frustration of patrons who are eating out and want to enjoy a quiet meal and are seated next to a screaming child – Autistic or not. The issue is not so much that the girl is Autistic, but like being on a plane seated next to a crying child, you are 'captive' and you paid money and you're annoyed to be disturbed. I am married to a man with Aspberger's, though his is relatively mild... In the end, what is sad is the rude treatment of customers in general that I see every day from embittered, poorly-paid service workers who are tired and consider their job a necessarily evil, rather than an opportunity. I worked my share of service jobs, and this server's behavior should be the norm – not a FB-worth post.
God Bless you Arianna! And Lauren, Brad & Alex!
This story made my day! Sincerely.
I go through everyday living by this quote- "Be Kinder Than Necessary, Everyone you meet is facing a battle of some kind."
I HOPE & Pray for others to do the same! We all are going through some type of struggle, its all about attitude! How you view the situations you are in can change everything!
Never, Never, Never Give Up!!!!!
You are right... God bless you
too many words in this story and not enough video
You're ignorance is disgusting.
I don't discriminate. I scowl at all children in restaurants, not just the screaming ones.
You use to be a child to buddy incase you forgot. The world would be a better place if more people were tolerant of others.
Maybe the only facial expression he was shown as a child was SCOWLING. Then it would be a learned behavior, and he thinks it's normal to just repeat this.
Hungry children in Africa wouldn't complain their hamburger is broken.
They likely would if they were autistic and the food served to them broke their usual routine. That is a key trigger for individuals with both Asperger's and autism.
This sounds more like a child who isn't getting her way from parents who are afraid to upset her. Rather than an authentic reaction from her disorder.
And you, Craig, sound like i should have pulled out in time !!!!
Go stand in a corner moron !!!
Actually, Craig, that's a common misconception. Autistic children are extremely routine-oriented. The world is a scary, chaotic place to them, and the routine helps them feel calm and stay in control. Breaking a routine does often upset an autistic child, and it is *not* a result of the child being spoiled or overindulged. It *is* something that most autistic children can learn to control over time, but this takes years of training and practice, often through expensive therapies that aren't covered by insurance and therefore aren't avaialble to many children who need them.
When my autistic 12-year-old was young (maybe 7 or younger), he couldn't tolerate changes to his routine, even if the change was something he would normally enjoy. If it was naptime (something he detested, but did because that was the routine) and we suggested that we instead go to Chuck E. Cheese (something he loved and begged for), he would have a meltdown and refuse to go. it was naptime, and no matter how much he disliked naptime, it was intolerable to skip naptime in favor of any other activity, even one he enjoyed. He just couldn't handle that change.
After many years of practice (both for us and for him), we know how to prepare him for change ahead of time, he knows better how to calm himself down when he feels that he is hitting his tolerance threshold, and we know how to recognize when he is on the edge and needs a quiet place to de-stress. This has taken *a lot* of work, though, and we're thousands of dollars in debt due to expensive therapies as mentioned above. It would be very common for a 7-year-old autistic child receiving a different product than expected (especially a favorite food!) to have a meltdown, and it would have nothing to do with being spoiled. The child simply doesn't yet have the frustration tolerance or skills necessary to calm herself.
Craig...I am really hoping that your comment was an intentional attempt to cause a stir for whatever reason; as I cannot believe that someone would present such an ignorant and uncultured comment. I have been teaching children with autism for 7 years; some children being very low functioning, and some that go on to graduate with a regents diploma and are able to attend college. Before I continue, just reading this article, speaking as a simple human being and not taking into account the fact that I professionally work with individuals with autism; I was so overjoyed to learn that there are wonderful moments of sincerity and kindness in the world today. Individuals with autism are such beautiful human beings with amazing talents and personalities; they just live a different kind of life with different difficulties than that of a neurologically normal person. So Craig, to enlighten you just a bit, for an autistic child, a cheeseburger cut in half can cause frustration and anxiety at the level that any normal person would feel when losing a job lets say, and in some cases multiply that by 10. It is very difficult for an autistic child to process and to communicate feelings and emotions as well as how to appropriately handle disappointment; in many cases tantrums, meltdowns, shutdowns, aggressiveness – these types of behaviors are very very common. These behaviors are impulsive and in more cases than not, unintentional. For you to indicate that it is just a spoiled kid and bad parenting, maybe take notes on how perfectly the waitress and manager responded to the situation while not even knowing the situation. As human beings, shouldn't we try to remember that everyone has obstacles to work through and not pass judgment right away. Even in the event of a "spoiled child", is it really your place to call that child spoiled. What you should have commented on is how much you'd love to shake the hand of the waitress and manager that treated that little girl with respect and kindness. If we all shared even with strangers a little bit of kindness, we'd have a lot less heartache in the word.
Think about this after you read this: a former student of mine, very low functioning, once said to me "I love you when I see your teeth".. in other words he was happy to see me smile at him. That's what made him happy. It's the simple things in life that make the world a better place – simple things like bringing a new cheeseburger to that little girl!
Go educate yourself about Autism Craig. Find a class or something. Ignorance is no excuse!!!!!!!!!!
Craig, BINGO!!! I work with these kids everyday! I get some of them are fixated on certain things, I know this. I'm thinking this lazy mom could of cut the burger in half for this kid and if that's not good enough then some discipline is the next step. These parents are LAZY and feel Entitled to Everything!! I don't buy this story and I feel sorry for whatever teacher has to deal with these high maintenance parents lol
Craig, your a wretched human being.
Jennifer Caro, you're a liar. You haven't worked with these kids or you'd understand them better. You'd know very well that this isn't a parenting issue. If you had bothered to READ the article you'd realize that the woman was her older sister, not her mother and the burger was already cut in half, hence it was "broken". You and Craig need to get together and jump off a cliff.
Seriously Craig, do you know any children or adults with autism? This is not a child who is being a brat, this is a child with a medical condition. It is not something you grow out of, although you may learn to cope.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002494/
This child needs to learn discipline...You don't get your Way everytime just b/c your autistic...
I don't believe for a second you work with individuals like this or you would understand what they are dealing with on a daily basis. I do work with autistic children and see this everyday. Great job by the individuals at Chili's, one of my favorite restaurants.
She's a flaming liar is what she is.
Hi Craig, I recommend you to educate yourself about Autism ... If you are not knowledgeable about the disorder, then don't make dumb comments about it...
Hi craig, really!,,, It disgusts me that you would even waste your time to make a comment like that. My son is also autistic and it hurtful and ignorant of you to make a comment like that. I wish you lots of luck in this world wasting your time upsetting poeple. Poeple like you are really the problem and not the autistic children. If you ever came to my restaurant, it would be you that should not be serve.
Hungry non disable children in Africa is what u mean.. u obviously have no understanding about the Autism!
Gia, are you really that uneducated? You must have worked hard to achieve that under the weight of whatever rock is above you.
What a wonderful story. It actually brought tears to my eyes. If everyone showed empathy and compassion at all times the world would be a much better place. We don't know what other people go through. People we meet might be dying, or maybe they've just experienced a tremendous loss. For all we know a harsh word or a stare out of place just might be all it takes to throw them over the edge. Autism seems to be on the rise which is baffling to me. It makes me wonder if our environment is somehow responsible for this sudden surge in the condition. My heart goes out to the families who are coping with this every day of their lives, and I sincerely hope that a cure for it is found. I'd also like to extend a big thank you to those of you who show compassion and care:)
I have a beautiful 15 year old son with Aspergers. Reading this story made me cry because I do remember visits to restaurants when he would not eat because food was "different." Times when he would melt down because he was overwhelmed, Relatives who said it was due to poor parenting. My husband and I spent a lot time taking him to therapy, involved in play groups, aspergers summer camps -basically anything we could find to help him and ourselves.
He will always be autistic. He hates crowds and loud noises but no longer melts down. He manages high school like the average teen, enjoys soccer and loves watching Psych. He is so worth all the effort, challenges and prayer. To parents engaged in this struggle, you have my compassion and my hope that your child will find a way. To others I would say, a little sensitivity costs little. One of the greatest things my son has learned from years of being considered the weird kid is his empathy for others. He doesn't care if someone acts or looks differently. What matters to him is that each person is treated fairly. He is my hero.
Thank you for sharing your heartfelt story Judy. You are my hero!
I know...it's Julie....not Judy....sorry for that:)
I would rather sit with your child than next to some goddam "normal" idiot yelling in his phone thats turned up so loud you can hear both sides of the conversation! Your child has a reason the cell phone dumbasses dont, except stupidity.
Your son sounds like an awesome kid! Good job!
I don't have autism and I would send back a burger cut in half too. That's a real goddamn travesty right there.
If that wasn't so damn funny, I would have been a little pissed at it,
But it was funny!
So we have high-functioning autism, low-functioning autism,neuro-typical (my favorite!), melt-downs, kids being bratty!. I can't keep up with it all. How do you know when the parents are lousy parents and the kids out of control monsters?Why has autism become all the rage now. We have a society that labels and attaches no consequences for actions: just pandering and care-taking
So clearly you haven't checked out what all of those mean. The difference between poor parenting and 'bratty children' vs autistic children, or children with other issues, is that they don't have control of their feelings or actions. They will react even if they are afraid of the consequences. I'll file you with the 'shots made my child retarded' intellectuals.
I agree completely. As as with any neurological diagnose (ADHDbeing a prime example), a spectrum disorder can become a crutch for bad parenting and a general lack of accountability. My son's Aspergers is much more severe than my own but I don't allow discourteous behaviors or meltdowns especially in public. He requires specific parenting strategies from me and he needs to understand himself as much as possible and learn mitigating behaviors. Over-diagnosis is harmful because it takes resources from those who really need it and removes accountability for bad behavior on the part of kids and their parents.
@nukyuhler...Well aren't you just the perfect parent! We are raising a child with Asperger's and have encountered many problems, meltdowns, inappropriate behaviours at school, in sports, at restaurants, etc. We have worked hard to help our child to overcome this and the occurences of these behaviours are getting less & less, but never would I call someone out because their autistic child has a meltdown in public. What a hypocrite you are!
Yes, same situation here. My child's disorder was way less severe than was mine, and I pass for "normal" on most days – though it was not always that way. She is now an adult, and darned functional. I did rearrange my life to accommodate what she needed and we did have set routines and rules. I can't begin to count the number of times we had to have our food bagged up and leave a restaurant when she couldn't manage on days when it looked like it was going to go well at the start. It goes with the job, you do what you have to do until the child is able to manage. I feel very fortunate that mine has grown to be a happy, well-functioning adult and that she was able to gain internal control long before the girl in this story. I shudder to think of the hell I put my own parents through – I remember the "throw self on floor and flail and scream" moments. I also remember what I was feeling at those times, and so I can cut a child having a meltdown a lot of slack – that kind of fear is just beyond explaining to someone who has not felt it. And I really do sympathize with those whose kids will never get to the point of passing for "normal". It seems that some people love to be able to blame someone for everything. Sometimes there is no "blame", it's just how things are. Nobody asks for this. Yes, I also worry about people being given the diagnosis when it is not accurate – overdiagnosis – that doesn't help a misdiagnosed child and it drags the rest of us down when the general public is the audience. There are periods when a disease becomes the media darling, and then it eventually bores people and they move on to the next, dismissing it all as yesterday's news. Except those of us who have lived with it, we never get to move on. I wish my family lived where the people who worked in this restaurant live. What a wonderful story, how kind and understanding they were. I wish I could say I'd ever encountered people like that, what a bright spot that would have been in my life. But, sadly, we just got the dirty looks and the nasty comments wispered just loudly enough so people would be sure we heard. Which we pretty much learned to disregard – we could only do what we could do. And then you go on with life, and you pity the people who are so selfish and uncaring.
There is a huge difference between Aspergers and low functioning autism. A huge chasm of a difference. My daughter is considered a high functioning autistic and is NOT misdiagnosed. No child in my household has ever been allowed poor behavior without consequence. But my daughter has been known to become over-stimulated and shut down or have a crying jag because of it. It certainly wasn't because she wasn't used to the word no or because she had behavioral problems. You're either a lying twit or you have no right to be a parent.
Seriously? It's probably become "all the rage" because as time goes on, more and more becomes known about this common and challenging disorder. With all the research that's been done over the past 10 years we've opened up the realities of autism and the different severity that comes with it. Unless I'm completely misunderstanding your statement you sound incredibly naive. Wow.
Another uneducated person claiming to know it all. Why don't you leave it to the experts who have studied autism and work with them professionally? What's next? Berating a student or child with tourettes for cursing inadvertently? Shame on you.
Sincerely, a teacher who knows better.
How can you tell the difference between a child with a disability behaving in a way that is consistent with their neurology and a bratty, out-of-control child with lazy parents?
You can't. Not in the 2 minutes that you see them in the grocery store, or even in the 45 minutes that you sit next to them in a restaurant.
That's why it's important to remember that you don't know everyone's story and just give people the benefit of the doubt. Even if the child doesn't have autism, he may have recently suffered the loss of his mother, or he might have been inadvertently deprived of his nap and be hysterically exhausted, or his father might be having an "off" day (something that I know even the very best parents occaionally have).
I think the better question, fran, is why do you have a need to make a judgment about what is wrong with another human being? Is it really so unreasonable to expect that people would offer others a little grace?
This story is beautiful and touching. And, I'll be eating at Chili's in the near future to show my support.
But some kids are brats that scream in public because they have bad parents.
agreed!!!!
You know this because of your amazing crystal ball, right? Your incredible psychic abilities?
No no no. Jon knows this because he is a bad parent. And was parented badly himself.
Autism, ADD, ADHD, etc. are all a load of BS. They are fake conditions created by pharmecutical lobbyists to push their drugs on to our society. People need to accept that some brains are formed less perfect than others. 100 years ago, things like Autism and ADD were unheard of. Am I to believe that the human species is in some sort of genetical pandemic?? I have seen reports recently that as high as 1 in 7 kids have autism. 1 IN 7?!?! How is our species still alive?? Wouldn't this blatant natural selection have elminated our species, if this was the case?? Some people are smart and some people are dumb. Mice and Men is a great example. We are wasting far to much time, energy, and resources taking care of our mentally ill, disabled, etc. When a disformed, disfigured, or mentally ill offspring is produced by any other species of mammal on the planet, do you know what happens? They KILL IT. Because it will have almost no chance of surviving independently. WHY ARE WE ANY DIFFERENT??? I have to wonder how many nobel prizer winners, rocket scientists, and other scholars never realized their full potential because they felt a moral obligation to waste their entire lives taking care of another human who shouldn't be around in the first place. We are tampering with evolution, natural selection, darwinism, etc.
Has the thought popped into anybodys mind that homosapiens are becoming more genetically inclined to develop these diseases based on our evolving practices of treating these individuals as normal, instead of erradicating them? I don't care how insensitive any of you find this post. By allowing the diseased to live we are doing horrible damage to our gene pool and the evolutionary course of our species.
Now please explain your stupidity.
Dave, there is no explanation for stupidity.
And as a great man once said "You can't fix stupid!"
Hope you have happier days.
Ignoring the blatant fact that this is morally horrendous, just logically speaking, I think that perspective is very easy to take, but it's too simplistic. What about those with these conditions that contribute to society? It's also a spectrum. What about those individuals who are on the fringe? Do some more research into the subject before you blanket it this way. It's easy to say that these individuals are a drain on society, but when you look at the waste and greed in society, taking care of these people doesn't consume a fraction of our resources. Should we be building our mansions and flying off on our vacations while forgoing care for those with these conditions?
And on a more personal level, this is so easy to say, but imagine you have a young sister or daughter with these conditions you blanket. What would YOU want done?
Wow I think you're living in the wrong decade. Eugenics went out of style right around the time of Nazi-ism. You are a buffoon.
Great insight! I'm curious where you got your PhD from? Since millions of experts in the field are all wrong, I would like you to take over fixing the world.
Certainly, there was an underdx leading to overdx. Just like putting a fat percentage of America's kids on Methylphenidate (Ritalin, in case you forgot pharmacology in your PhD/MD coursework). Heck, I can give you 50 diseases in the over/underdx category from a span of fields! But to suggest that such a thing invalidates all other legitimacy of condition is a ridiculous concept. I mean, we COULD just off people who are abnormal. Who needs an Einstein, a Hawking, a Fleming (he discovered Penicilin). Heck, I bet you wouldn't have lived to reach a keyboard, either. By all means, place yourself in a sole 'survival of the fittest' location, and let me know how it works out for you!
Sorry you were born out of your time, DaLie. You would have fit in with the eugenics movement of the early twentieth century, a movement that segued so neatly into the Nazis' program to eliminate "mental defectives," the ill, Roma, Jews, homosexuals.... anyone who didn't look and act like their "ideal." Sorry to fall back on that bane of all Internet conversation, Nazism, but your views match theirs exactly.
I would argue that our progress as a species has depended almost entirely by our willingness to care for those who are "broken" in some way - which pretty much describes all of us - but can be largely cured with love and respect.
you could have saved yourself the time and energy of writing that post and just copy-pasted straight from Nazi policy documents on eugenics
Please spend some time in a classroom, do some research, speak to experts, and get back to us. Tell us how a child who can't look anyone in the eye, obsesses over one item or idea, can't communicate with peers or form lasting relationships, and is overly sensitive to noises and textures is all fake. Tell us also how a child as young as 3 or 4 decides at that stage of their neurological development to fake it.
Spend a day in the life of someone who experiences it daily, then get back to us. You are uneducated on the subject to an insane degree. What makes it more disgusting is your know it all attitude. People like you need to dig a little deeper before digging a ditch you can't escape from. You haven't a logical leg to stand on. This is just a sophomoric tirade from an uninformed half wit.
I remember that guy in Nazi Germany said very similar things to what you just said. Hitler I think was his name.
But seriously, you cannot reduce humans down to mere animals. You want to do away with compassion. This is foolish. When a plane full of amazing people crashes in the middle of the ocean, should we just leave them there to die because it would be a waste of our resources to rescue then and it would put others in danger of dying as well? We take care of our disabled because they are people. They contribute to our society in a powerful way.
That sounds so familiar Adolf.
Some people like yourself are ignorant fools.
They have drugs to help with that. They DON'T have drugs for ASD.
They have drugs to help with whatever it is you are displaying. They DON'T have drugs for ASD.
By your logic, if I am smarter than you, I deserve to live and you don't.
I'm willing to take that bet.
Address, please...
Like Stephen Hawking disabled AND genious? Not possible according to you.
Many people with disabilities are not passing those traits on to progeny. The theory that we are somehow "degenerating" as a species because we are not killing our weak is preposterous. There have always been members of our species with differing physical capabilities and brain functions – that is part of the diversity of our species.
In this battle of wits you are unarmed. Medical science 100 years ago wasn't anywhere near where it is today you moron. Your stupidity is shocking.
@DaTruth: What will you do when the "majority" or whomever has power decides that YOU are "defective" and should be removed from the gene pool?
You can do your "part" by not mating with someone you deem genetically "unfit." Other than that, no, we are not the type of society that kills the "undesirables." You should be thrilled, because based on what I can see, plenty of people deem you stupid enough to be a candidate for elimination.
There are no drugs for autism. The only solution is lots of government welfare money, which I'm sure everyone would prefer to avoid if it were possible.
Oh, you think so do you? There is, currently, no medication on the market for autism. None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. The only medication that can be used on autistic children is sedation for those who are aggressive. So there goes your theory. Poof, right out the window. As for ADHD / ADD, if that were the case stimulants like Adderall would make Hammy the Squirrel look like a lazy sloth. You're a dolt. Go DIAF.
Im actually surprised corporate didnt have them fired for not following policy and serving a burger that wasnt cut in half
If they have meat thermometers, it should not be an issue. They can take the internal temp. without having to cut it in half.
I can only pity some of you.
“Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.” -Henry James
If we can't muster this, what difference does it make how smart we think we are?
Well said. I'd rather sit next to an upset child than a miserable human being.
You do realize children are human beings, right?
This story moved me. I right now have tears in my eyes reading this. very well done
Great work by Wells and her boss. My appreciation of Chili's just rose to a new level. It happens to be a favorite of our three kids, one of whom is autistic. Great service goes a very long way in customer satisfaction.
I've got an issue with this story. I'm sorry if you find this offensive or insensitive.
I appreciate the kind gesture by the server, but I would also like to bring up the issue of creating boundaries individuals who are said to be autistic. In life there are things that are beyond the control of the individual and situation. Life's tough – get a helmet.
Sometimes that burger is going to be "broken" and you're going to have to live with it. That particular person might get upset and throw a fit, but they need to learn that their behavior is unacceptable and will not yield desired results. The social skills needed to be learned in this case is that Chili's followed the rules, and that's how it's going to be. Tough.
It is my hope that the child acted in a respectfully, socially-acceptable manner, for a request for change. If that is the case, MAYBE the change be warranted. However, if it was a request for change that was aggressive and unacceptable in nature, AND they got the request for a change, I have a problem with that.
We just taught this kid to use manipulate behavior to get what they want.
Or, just maybe, their behavior really is out of their control.
I have 2 kids, they dont have autism, so without dealing with it day in and day out I'm sensitive enough to think that maybe the kid cant control it and isnt "setting herself off" to get what she wants.
I'm sorry for your ignorance. Your entire rant would be valid for a child that DOES NOT HAVE AUTISM. Autistic children do not act that way to get what they want because they are spoiled. They have a problem and obviously so do you.
Do you not know what autism is?
you my friend are what we call an aHOLE. you must not know what its like to deal with someone who is autistic. you must not understand the way someone with autism thinks. should brush up on it & maybe youll understand why the story is so special.
Your reply, with name calling, and cowardly enough to not use your full name, does not help your cause. This person does not have to understand autism, any more than you have to understand "fill in the blank" issue that some other person is dealing with.
Like you used your full name? I'm just saying...pot meet kettle...
So I don't see your full name, either. So that makes him, you, and me all cowards, I guess.
Youre a rank butthole.
What you're describing would certainly be reasonable course of actions for a normal child who is simply being difficult. If that were the case it would be reasonable not to acquiesce to the demands. of the child. In the case of an autistic child that isn't really reasonable. As I understand it, individuals with autism thrive with more of a set routine and anything that might be off about the routine can lead to problems, whether it's a burger that's cut in half or putting on the right shoe before the left. It's not as simple as just explaining to the child that it has to be a certain way. Little differences in the way we all do things that we rarely notice because the same end result is reached do not go unnoticed by autistic people. For many of them the process is as important as the result.
Autism is a unique disorder. There are shades of gray in autism. My daughter is considered high functioning. She's 13 now and when she encounters a situation that overwhelms her or strays from her strict routine of black and white, she'll shut down. Not knowing what to do. Not to compare my daughter to an insect, mind you, but it's very much like a line of ants whose pheromone path has been broken. They can't move forward, and neither can she. She needs to be prompted to find the logical course of action outside of her sphere. A whole lot of occupational therapy has brought her to where she is now and she's likely to improve to the point of being able to handle life on her own and graduate from college with little assistance. She doesn't quite yet absorb social cues well, but that is also improving. She is grasping the idea between being bullied and a friendly razz from a peer. She doesn't always react appropriately to some cues, but it's a process. When she was younger she would she would burst into tears and had a hard time recovering. It wasn't that she couldn't cope or that she was ill-parented, it was just a blockade for her that she has worked very hard to overcome. Children who have low functioning or mid-spectrum autism often self-hurt, are aggressive, or completely out of touch with the world and will need lifelong care. This is why it's called a spectrum disorder. It spans a great deal of issues and needs. Hope this helps you understand autism a bit better.
Clearly you don't understand Autism. For almost any other child, I would agree with you whole-heartedly. But that "lesson" is lost on an Autistic child. They don't interact with the outside world the way you and I do. She saw her burger as being broken and that bothered her. Being manipulative is not part of the way her brain works.
The server did a wonderful thing, and everyone benefited from it. There's nothing negative here.
Being manipulative is the way the OPs brain works, thus their inability to understand. Don't waste your time trying to convince a conniving swine that the rest of the world is not comprised of conniving swine.
You are clearly ignorant to what autism is and how it affects children.
I am so thankful that we live in a society where we are all free to say whatever is on our minds regarding any given situation. This also goes for those people who are completely ignorant. This includes you. As the mother of two boys with autism, I know all too well the stares and side comments of those who have no idea how not only the parents are feeling (embarassed and hurt because our children are different) but also the children. They simply CANNOT help it. Yes, certain behaviors can be corrected but it is a very long process. Would you prefer we just all stay at home? Institutionalize? Not going to happen. This was not a case of "rewarding bad behavior," this was a case of a "normal" (whaever THAT truly means) person showing some compassion and trying to understand how ONE person of a GROWING population feels. Get out from under your rock and look around. And God forbid you should EVER have anyone close to you diagnosed with any form of autism.
You could have avoided an embarrassing post simply by reading the article. "if it was a request for change that was aggressive and unacceptable in nature, AND they got the request for a change, I have a problem with that.", but the article explained what actually happened.
" Sometimes that burger is going to be "broken" and you're going to have to live with it. That particular person might get upset and throw a fit, but they need to learn that their behavior is unacceptable and will not yield desired results. The social skills needed to be learned in this case is that Chili's followed the rules, and that's how it's going to be. Tough" A child with Autism won't just get this point you're making. They're not acting up to get what they want- something in their brain is saying "fix this", much like the way your brain would say "get out ! The house is on fire!" It's that monumental, it's dire to them. You can try to tell the child their behavior isn't appropriate, explain, threaten, spank, withhold, put in a time out, yell at, give dirty looks to, or berate them over and over. It won't "sink in"- that's part of Autism Spectrum. Social customs and understanding of nuances don't compute in a child with Autism. Their brain doesn't recoginize social cues like a neuro-typical child's would. It's like trying to understand why everybody around you is speaking French, when you only know English. So this child didn't get away with anything, like it might be suggested. In her mind, something was seriously wrong and she needed it amended so she could move past it.
Wow...I sometimes read the comments below on highly charged cnn articles just to get a kick out of some outrageous comments, or if I'm in a particularly masochistic mood. But I thought after reading this article, surely there's not a single person who could write something negative about a story full of sincerity, kindness, and empathy.
I guess I was operating under the assumption that either the person actually had reading comprehension skills or that they were not utter a-holes. As others have already stated, if you had even the most fundamental knowledge of how Autism can present, especially in young children, you would understand how inapplicable your post was.
Are you really saying "life's tough, get a helmet" about an autistic child?! Remind me to walk the other way if I ever need to make your acquaintance.
I think you're projecting your own beliefs against what the article reported. If you read the article carefully, the sister Anna Kaye, insisted on paying for a new burger with more specific instructions for how the burger should be prepared in order to help her sister feel better. I believe that if you are willing to ask for something at a restaurant that are willing to pay for, you should be entitled to receive what you ask for. Wouldn't you agree?
What makes this news interesting is not that a server and manager did the right thing by giving Ariana a new burger free of charge, but that they inherently treated Ariana as if she did not have a disability. I don't think you (not insisting that I do) know how to interact with a child who has Autism. They do not have the same learning capabilities as you or I.
Think about it this way, just like the child with developmental challenges does not learn things the same way as others, you too face challenges in empathizing with others who are different than you. We do not judge you for it, CNN is just willing to let you express your rants (albeit ignorant) on public forums. Please read carefully sir, before spreading your ideology on others. The devil is in the detail.
Comments should be disabled for stories like this. They only bring out the morons and internet saints.
I feel sorry for this person and all who are making judgmental or negative comments.
This story is awesome.
I
There is some credence to thehockeybowler's outlook. While we should expect a level of tolerance for a six year old who's brain works differently than most, that girl should be raised to understand the differences and make mutual accommodations with others. Whether you have autism or not the word does not revolve around you. That being said, with a six year old the "broken burger" is probably not the battle to pick especially in public. Every kid has quirks. Sometimes you just let kids be kids autism or not.
I totally understand where you are coming from, and almost agree with you 100%. I always said tough love is sometime the best. That maybe they are just being "hard headed" "difficult" "stubborn" but honestly they aren't. I never fully understood this until i met my husbands son, Jayden who is autistic. It changed my view on everything, they are not just being "sensitive" or "over-dramatic" they just cant function in the way that is socially acceptable for "us" no one will ever fully understand or appreciate these great kids until yuo spend time with them. If a "Broken hamburger" was the only thing wrong that day it was a great day. Im sure if your food came "broken" or under-cooked you would appreciate a little understanding.
@hockeybowlerwhatever: I'm no expert on autism, but I teach kids who are Deaf and HH (hard-of-hearing). To do that, I've learned ASL, teaching methods, all kinds of stuff...
But it all boils down to something that you either never learned or simply forgot (or maybe when you were a kid, no one showed it to you): KINDNESS AND PATIENCE are free. These two qualities cost us nothing to give. But if you treat a kid kindly and patiently, chances are s/he will benefit and grow up to be better than you may have experienced.
First world problems
...said the prick posting on an internet message board
+1
say word