The dog ate my...everything
August 16th, 2011
07:45 AM ET
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Linda Petty is an editor at CNN Living. She likes boxed mixes, tarted-up vegetables, letting produce rot in her crisper, eating breakfast at her desk, raiding your pantry, ice cream cones and other frozen delights.

Some years ago, my family's dog Penny made off with a rump roast that had been left defrosting on a counter while we were all out running errands. My mother assumed the dog ate the entire thing because she couldn’t find even the tiniest scrap left of the meat.

But I found a big hunk of it - several days later when I did a headstand in the box of clothes my siblings and I used for playing dress-up. I screamed, then my mother screamed and Penny went into hiding while we disposed of the now quite ripe evidence.

One Spring, the Easter bunny brought the eggs and the family dog took most of them away.

My parents put religion first on Easter, so although we were allowed to ooh and aah over the Easter baskets, we were not allowed to touch them until we returned from church.

When we got back, the living room was trashed with baskets strewn all over. But very few colorful eggs were found. Pieces of them were found – for days. We found them smushed into the carpet, furniture and under everything.

I would say that our dog Penny paid for her purloining of the eggs. But if you know dogs, you know that we all paid and paid and paid as those eggs digested in her system that expelled a lot of methane gas. Luckily, she didn’t have a death wish – the chocolate bunnies were untouched.

It's a good thing we loved her so doggone much.

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soundoff (189 Responses)
  1. Katheleen Nicholason

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    February 5, 2014 at 8:11 am |
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    August 27, 2011 at 4:20 am |
  4. Coty

    My dog has taken recently to chewing things he isn't supposed to but surprisingly he still does not touch our food.

    August 23, 2011 at 5:20 pm |
  5. Delta

    Our Rottie ate a make-up sponge I dropped once. We took him to the vet who declared him fine and said, "This too shall pass."

    August 22, 2011 at 1:42 pm |
  6. MV

    I once babysat for a family that had a dog that would knock over the Diaper Genie and eat the poo out of the dirty diapers – and cleaning up that mess is DISGUSTING! The dog's stomach was always gurgling! Unfortunately, she died by eating a corn cob.... but until then, nothing was safe....

    August 22, 2011 at 1:32 pm |
  7. Doc

    Yellow lab dragging 'her' pizza off the counter.

    August 19, 2011 at 1:43 am |
  8. Evil Grin

    My pets don't only steal food, they'll eat just about anything if I'm not careful.

    I don't have dogs. I DO have iguanas.

    Now you might be thinking, "Aren't iguanas militant vegans with a superiority complex?" And you've be right. They are vegans in the truest sense of the word, as they physically cannot process any kind of animal protein at all, and can only just tolerate small amounts of vegetable protein. (Despite what your "friendly" pet store owner might have told you about them.) And they also do seem to believe that humans exist for the sole purpose of bringing them food.

    However, they also never reject anything they think might be food. That means they'll eat practically anything, even if it means an early grave. So while a free-roaming iguana has no compunctions about sauntering over and nabbing an unattended plate of eggs or pizza, it also seems to think that a red pen cap can be a tasty treat, or the sock that was carelessly left on the floor, or that marble that you forgot was behind the couch.

    August 17, 2011 at 12:47 pm |
    • Jerv

      I sure do miss the Evil One. Hope you are doing well.

      February 5, 2014 at 8:24 am |
  9. @SantaFeChar

    My dad had a series of Irish Setters when he was growing up. He said his mom used to classify the dogs based on their height and theft potential. This one or that one was "third shelf butter dish" :)

    August 17, 2011 at 12:19 pm |
  10. @SantaFeChar

    My cats steal grapes off the fruit bowl – not for eating, but for playing with. Occasionally when I move the furniture in a major cleaning frenzy I find stray raisins (here in New Mexico they don't rot, they mummify!). Had one cat who had a symbiotic relationship with the dog. At Christmas time the cat would get up on the sideboard and steal the walnuts out of the bowl there, to play with. Once he got bored he would abandon the nut and the dog would come along, crack it open, and eat the nut meats out of it (having been trained to have a taste for walnuts by an irresponsible ex-boyfriend some years earlier). He would leave the broken bits of walnut shell lying on the carpet for me to come along and find in the middle of the night with my bare feet, LOL! Took me awhile to figure out how the dog was getting the nuts without disturbing the bowl or knocking over the furniture!

    August 17, 2011 at 12:14 pm |
  11. AnitaEM

    My friend's dog, Muma, a weimaraner (however it is spelled), lived in tropical paradise Roatan Island, Honduras. One day, she didn't want to eat, drink, was tired, so obviously, my friend got worried with her weird behavior. Took her to the vet, and to her surprise, there was a MANGO seed stuck in her intestine. Had to go through MAJOR surgery and intensive care. Thought she would learn her lesson when 6 months later, she ate ANOTHER mango seed, which got stuck again. Unluckily, she didn't survive the second mango seed. We all loved her and miss her. RIP Muma, hope you are enjoying enough mango in dog heaven!

    August 17, 2011 at 10:19 am |
  12. kim92eaton

    I have a 3 year old pit bull named Gizmoe, hes my baby! and let me tell you he loves to chew! but never has he tried to steel food! i have left plates of food right infront of his face left then came back and he hasnt tuched it! but he does love it wen i hand him food :) on the other 12 year old lab will take the food out ur hand if u let him close enuff! he had eatin everything from sticks of butter to a whole chocolate cake in his life time. hes cleand off dishes that r still sitting on the back burner of the stove (after it was cold), hes eatin plates of fried fish, left overs food still in raped in plastic, hes eating throug tupawear before! thr boy gets in the trash at least once a week still...and it had goten wores with age, i think he knows we cant beat him anymore bc hes just to dame old! not 3 days ago i walked in the kitchen and he walks by me with the trash can lid stuck on his head! haha it was pretty funny. but hes a great dog! and im gona be very sad wen he leaves 19 and have had him most of my life!
    ps. he has never gotten sick from eating any of it!

    August 17, 2011 at 8:56 am |
  13. Erika

    My fiance's schnauzer, Kiko, ate an entire box of buckeyes (candy) once ... and she ddin't die from the chocolate, although they never made it a habit to feed chocolate to the dog. She also ate chewing gum whenever she could get to it, which meant chewing holes in pants and shorts to get gum out of the pockets. She once ate an ENTIRE gourd. Ugh!

    August 17, 2011 at 7:43 am |
  14. Fifi

    It wasn't methane gas (which does not smell) the dog was expelling after scarfing all those eggs, but wilder compounds. As much as people like to joke about what dogs get into, a meal like that can kill a dog. too much fat causes pancreatitis - painful and potentially fatal. Dogs can suffer liver or kidney failure from ingesting the wrong thing. be careful what you leave lying around.

    That said, I adopted a dog that, unbeknownst to me, was a counter surfer and kitchen clearer. He ate all kinds of things before we figured out how to dog-proof the kitchen. The funniest thing (funny because he wasn't harmed) was when I came home and he was racing around in a party mood. He'd found some chocolate (cheap stuff with very little of the harmful chemical that is so poisonous to dogs) and was high on the caffiene or something. I phoned the vet and ran the whole thing by him, and the dog was fine. But he was bouncing off the walls and doing the dog equivalent of giggling. it was hilarious.

    August 17, 2011 at 1:36 am |
    • Fifi

      arrrgh....that was sulphur compounds, not wider compounds. blame Apple.

      August 17, 2011 at 1:38 am |
  15. repairmanray

    My black lab mix eats near perfect circles out of cloth. Jeans, bed sheets, whatever. It almost appears that a machine clipped the holes out. She seems to do it when I'm gone too long. Sometimes I find the hole almost done, and the precision is incredible. 2 to 3 inch circumference.

    August 17, 2011 at 1:33 am |
    • GREG

      Ray, that's the weirdest thing I've ever heard and yet quite impressive. I don't know if you can even get upset with it over such a talent.

      August 17, 2011 at 8:45 am |
    • GREG

      Sorry, "upset with HER" I meant. I didn't notice you specified...

      August 17, 2011 at 8:48 am |
  16. greg

    People make jokes about what their dogs eat, but the biggest joke is actually what most people in the US consider a proper meal: pizza, burger, hot dog, sandwich (white bread), fake cheese and everything our processed-food industry is managing to sell to us. Foreigners joke about our food just as we joke about what our dogs chew on.

    August 16, 2011 at 11:36 pm |
    • @SantaFeChar

      I wouldn't even eat that cr@p myself, much less force it on my dog.

      August 17, 2011 at 12:20 pm |
  17. Morbus

    I had a Doberman/Rottweiler mix as a teenager who once ate a sock, and threw it up several days later. He also ate a "half-shirt" belonging to my brother & eventually pooped it out. He would also chew rocks, metal, wooden boards, concrete, just about anything. A purebred Rottweiler I had later ate a corn cob (minus the grains of corn - just the cob). She had powerful jaws and was just biting off chunks of the cob. Overnight she started throwing them up and it looked like chunks of bone coming up.

    August 16, 2011 at 11:26 pm |
    • @SantaFeChar

      basset hound I grew up with used to steal and eat our crayons. Poop pick-up those days was always colorful.

      August 17, 2011 at 12:21 pm |
  18. Dan

    My lab mix, Buddy, will add seven feather pillows, one flip flop from three different pairs, a half-pound bag of Hershey kisses, foil and all, to this list.

    August 16, 2011 at 11:14 pm |
  19. AngelaA

    Our Murphy is a real trickster...he knows how to get food when we are not looking. He finds ways to get to the food no matter how high up we place it on the table (and he's a short cardigan welsh corgi!). It seems he is all stomach! Sometimes we wonder if he really loves us, or just loves the fact that we give him kibble. I am sure that people think we starve him the way he pilfers food – in seconds mind you. And he's a gulper! He doesn't chew his kibble – he gulps it up. It's insane. We could never leave a bowl full of kibble just laying around. We have to watch every piece of food, food container, etc. ALL THE TIME! Well, we adore him, so I guess we will continue to put up with his food-foraging ways.

    August 16, 2011 at 11:07 pm |
    • @SantaFeChar

      Most dog food kibble is so poor in nutritional content that your Corgi may be seeking nutrients he is lacking in his diet. I hope you don't only give him kibble. It's bad for dogs, it rots their teeth and makes them dehydrated, no matter how much water they seem to drink. It's even worse for cats, but still your dog probably is trying to fulfill a nutritional need he is not getting. Kibble is basically empty calories. Maybe if you gave him less kibble and more actual meat he wouldn't steal so much inappropriate food.

      August 17, 2011 at 12:27 pm |
      • Matt

        Yup. I have dog and I feed her boiled chicken. No more trickster stuff.

        August 17, 2011 at 12:37 pm |
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