 Linda Petty is an editor at CNN Living. She likes boxed mixes, tarted-up vegetables, letting produce rot in her crisper, eating breakfast at her desk, raiding your pantry, ice cream cones and other frozen delights. When you’re a child and you don’t like a certain vegetable there are ways to avoid it. Refuse to eat it - hide it in pockets or under plates or feed it to the dog. But when your spouse grows that vegetable with love and serves it up with their own two hands – you are stuck with gagging that ingredient down and smiling while you eat it. However, one fellow I used to work with bragged about how he made certain that he never had to eat another one of his wife’s homegrown eggplants. Let’s call him "Max" so he doesn’t have to go into the Husband Protection Plan. But what his wife didn’t see was Max sneaking out in the middle of the night with a toothpick and poking tiny little holes in all the eggplants until they deflated.. She was dismayed that some nasty insect was attacking her eggplants. She studied garden books and took some of the holey vegetables to experts. But none of the advice worked. She tried for several years to grow eggplant with a sympathetic Max by her side until she finally gave up. Back at the office, Max did a happy little no more eggplant dance. It may seem a little egg-streme, but his wicked plot kept peace in the house. |
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Good grief. I love eggplant. My husband doesn't. When I make eggplant stuff, he'll eat it if it's in stuff sometimes. When I slice and roast it for other things I make sure he has lunch meat for his sandwiches and I make pasta for him too when I make up some tomato sauce. How hard is that? You seriously have to resort to sabotage? Just tell her you don't like it. And maybe just cook for yourself that night if she doesn't get it. What a sad marriage that sounds like.
That Sam-I-am
That Sam-I-am!
I do not like
that Sam-I-am
Do you like
green eggs and ham
I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.
I do not like
green eggs and ham.
Would you like them
Here or there?
I would not like them
here or there.
I would not like them
anywhere.
I do not like
green eggs and ham.
I do not like them,
Sam-I-am
Would you like them
in a house?
Would you like them
with a mouse?
I do not like them
in a house.
I do not like them
with a mouse.
I do not like them
here or there.
I do not like them
anywhere.
I do not like green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
Would you eat them
in a box?
Would you eat them
with a fox?
Not in a box.
Not with a fox.
Not in a house.
Not with a mouse.
I would not eat them here or there.
I would not eat them anywhere.
I would not eat green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
Would you? Could you?
in a car?
Eat them! Eat them!
Here they are.
I would not ,
could not,
in a car
You may like them.
You will see.
You may like them
in a tree?
d not in a tree.
I would not, could not in a tree.
Not in a car! You let me be.
I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox
I do not like them in a house
I do mot like them with a mouse
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
A train! A train!
A train! A train!
Could you, would you
on a train?
Not on a train! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! Sam! Let me be!
I would not, could not, in a box.
I could not, would not, with a fox.
I will not eat them with a mouse
I will not eat them in a house.
I will not eat them here or there.
I will not eat them anywhere.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
Say!
In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?
I would not, could not,
in the dark.
Would you, could you,
in the rain?
I would not, could not, in the rain.
Not in the dark. Not on a train,
Not in a car, Not in a tree.
I do not like them, Sam, you see.
Not in a house. Not in a box.
Not with a mouse. Not with a fox.
I will not eat them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere!
You do not like
green eggs and ham?
I do not
like them,
Sam-I-am.
Could you, would you,
with a goat?
I would not,
could not.
with a goat!
Would you, could you,
on a boat?
I could not, would not, on a boat.
I will not, will not, with a goat.
I will not eat them in the rain.
I will not eat them on a train.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! You let me be!
I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox.
I will not eat them in a house.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them ANYWHERE!
I do not like
green eggs
and ham!
I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.
You do not like them.
SO you say.
Try them! Try them!
And you may.
Try them and you may I say.
Sam!
If you will let me be,
I will try them.
You will see.
Say!
I like green eggs and ham!
I do!! I like them, Sam-I-am!
And I would eat them in a boat!
And I would eat them with a goat...
And I will eat them in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And in a tree.
They are so good so good you see!
So I will eat them in a box.
And I will eat them with a fox.
And I will eat them in a house.
And I will eat them with a mouse.
And I will eat them here and there.
Say! I will eat them ANYWHERE!
I do so like
green eggs and ham!
Thank you!
Thank you,
Sam-I-am
Growing up, we had a "food rule" that you had to eat as many bites of something as you were years old. No baby bites. Normal sized bites. After you became a certain age, it was just an amount on the plate and if you fussed, they started counting which meant more would likely be added to your plate.
It paid off when we were served something we, as kids, didn't like or it was a new food.
If you begin with the attitude of "I don't like this food.", you will find it that over time, you eat in a smaller world because you have fewer choices.
If you try food that you are not fond of but it is prepared differently than you are used to, you may find that you actually like X prepared Y instead of Z. I learned how to like cauliflower roasted in olive oil instead of steamed. You never know until you try it.
What a terrible thing to do. Max is a coward.
You can eat us both raw.
Lima Beans HATE them! Ate them twice, first and last time EVER, choked on them, vomited, and cried, NEVER had to eat those damns things again. ;-)
Nah....not insecure just confident in my appearance and abilities...I have a masters in engineering and have 2 books published....I was just sharing my blessings ....to encourage others to be themselves...that is the greatest thing that was ever given to us ....our uniqueness and our abilities....reach out and enjoy... and I don't believe you have to always eat your veggies.
"2 books published"? Not with that grammar.
@ Pragmaclast LOL
@ Belinda Well GOOOOD for you, pin a rose on your nose, why is it EVERY Belinda I have met has the same ego??? You're not cutesy- you're annoying
Let me guess the title of the two books...
1. Look at How Wonderful I AM, by Belinda
2. Me, Myself, and I, All I really Need, by Belinda.
Make no mistake. Belinda has not published two books. I seriously doubt she has even read two books.
Well, now that I read it again, she says she "published" two books, not wrote two books, so maybe she works for a book publisher and is just slow. :)
Come on guys, were her comments THAT offensive? There's no need to tear her down. If she seems arrogant, assume you're reading too much into the comment and let it go. Since you'll never meet her in real life, what's the use in antagonizing her here?
It's just one guy, and he's really fat.
@ Hatin' the Haters. Knock it of Belinda- you are fooling no one
My mother used to make fried liver and onions because supposedly my dad liked them. She forced me to eat it even though it made me gag. I would hide it in my underwear, napkin, anywhere I thought I could. My mom was intent on me not wasting food.
At age 7 I was at the allergist and the doc told me I was allergic to beef. He thought I'd be upset - no more hamburgers. Instead I asked if liver was beef and he said it was. I jumped for joy in the allergist's office. My dad smiled and confided to me that he didn't care that much for liver either. My mother said, "You don't? All this time I've been making liver and onions just because you liked it!" My dad said, "I thought you loved it!" My mom said, "No, I can't stand it!" My dad said, "Well, let's not have it anymore because I've just been choking it down because I thought it was so important to you!"
Long story short, when I came home from the allergist and told my sisters that we weren't going to have to eat liver anymore, I was the hero of the house! But since I was the middle child, that didn't last long.
Well to answer a simple request without getting into politics or name calling.
I used to swallow Brussels sprouts whole because I disliked the taste so much. I still don't like them but it is the only veggie I will not eat.
Ms. Petty's third sentence is in error. You are NEVER "stuck with gagging that ingredient down and smiling while you eat it."
I just close my eyes and swallow, Scott.
That's another thing that doesn't happen.
Personally, I think some parents didn't expose their kids to enough variety when growing up. I had a male friend who refused to eat vegetables and the guy stank. My dad is another finicky veg eater, only eating salad, green beans etc. I was a little finicky as a child, but now, I will eat all vegetables. even ones I didn't like before taste great, prepared properly.
Gagging down eggplant won't kill him, I think its darn cruel to sabotage your wife's hobby, because you don't have the spine to say no thank you, or to confront the wife if she is pressuring you to eat her favorite garden veg. If you don't have spine, eat eggplant with a smile. I've often come to like things I didn't like before (broccoli, etc. just due to repeat servings).
I will eat just about any vegetable....except zucchini and cauliflower and i rank them right up there with liver...I throw up if they even touch my lips!!! I am 53 years old and have never missed them I am not diabetic, not overweight, don't have to exercise if I don't want to and I don't have any gray hair......don't believe me....well too bad its true...last time I went out to eat with my husband I got id'd.. No really! I think I just got lucky in the genes department not even my kids got this lucky my oldest who is 32 is constantly being referred to as my older sister. It does drive them crazy and they hate the way I eat...but my dr. is very happy with numbers from all my blood tests! Moral of the story if you don't like it don't eat it and let God take care of the Biology!!
Well aren't you special!? Why don't you tell us all how wonderful you are again, some might have missed it. Insecure much?
Nice.
Wow. Self important much?
Aww, c'mon. She's 12 years old, on Summer break, lying to make herself seem older and can't even spell her screen name right. It's not Belinda, it's
B E L I T T L E
I love Okra. I watched her show for years and I am sorry she retired.
okra. wins worst veg category hands down.
BOO-rah!
Ha ha, sux to be you, Okra!
A child who does not like certain vegetables is one thing, I hated most when I was a kid, but education and experimentation has led me to love all vegetables. I have no tolerence for people who do not eat vegetables. I view them as ignorant.
I done some 'sperimentin', too.
'I have no tolerence for people who do not eat vegetables.' I'm the same way about people who don't smoke pot.
poser. but i'm so high i owe e'en care.
I have no tolerance for people who don't eat people. I know, you're dead, lie back down. Rough crowd tonight.
I love veggies! the only thing i wont eat is cooked squash. blecch. it's a texture thing... love steamed zucchini, yellow squash, etc.. but cooked. nope. other than that, bring on the veggies! to address the man who killed the eggplant, not cool. all he'd have to do is say 'nope, dont like them' and move on. at least then his wife would get to eat them! not cool man, not cool.
kindergarten memories of throwing up tomatoes into the milk glass. my dog hated them too.
Abortionist! Talk about popping someone's balloon!
@Steve-o ; if she waves around a chef's knife when something food related is called into question, then there's OTHER problems that should be address.
I love eggplant, and my husband hates it. It doesn't matter how it's prepared–I've tried baking it, frying it, grilling it–nothing works. So if I bring home and eggplant and prepare it for myself, I either set aside an eggplant-free portion or he makes something separate for himself. Most often, though, I make do with ordering eggplant when we go out. Same with Brussels sprouts, which I also love and he also detests.
I put a restraining order against your husband.
I flushed brussel sprouts down the toilet when I was a child. Is that wrong?
Wait, that was YOU?
Sorry Mr. Sprout, I confess. I don't know where you ended up but it must be in a better place then the over cooked broccoli my mother used to serve (trust, you don't wanna know)!
If that's wrong, I don't want to be right.
THIS I could get by with - the barfing at the table would just get me more of what I didn't want.
I think Max is an immature A hole..... Grow up Max!!! If you're still that childish, maybe you should have waited to marry...
Because mature A holes are so much better?
Listen to aubrie, Max. There must be something wrong with you, sneakin' up on those helpless aubergines.
Aubriegines?
It was them or me. I had to do it. The moon was full.
What has been left unmentioned is that nobody grows ONE eggplant. They tend to plant upwards of ten, or twenty. How much eggplant parmesan and fried eggplant can you eat in a month? How much casserole, how much friggin' ratatouille? Eggplant canned, eggplant frozen?
Max, save yourself!
I hate all Vegans and all yucky vegetables.
You must not be preparing them correctly – vegans are delicious!
I think Jeff D has a recipe you could use... oh wait, he's dead. Sheesh...
You've never had MY snap beans, baby!
My grandmother's solution to odd tasting vegetables, like asparagus, was to poach them in water + a little sugar, and then douse them in butter. Carrots, broccoli (sp?), peas, green beans - and butter butter butter. Eggplants grow beautifully in the garden but no matter what you do to them - flavorless. They do however, make beautiful decorations in a tablescape. The comment from my grandmother :: "I give up but they look so pretty. On the table. Uncooked."
You can eat me raw too.
A true vegan diet should be mandatory in America. You are all too obese and barbaric in your consumption of meat, which is loaded with chemicals. It is no wonder why diabetes is skyrocketing.
Wow, you're a blast! Do you do kids parties?
Actually, I'd just as soon you ate a chicken instead of me.
Yes! Yes! Eat me!
I agree! Vegans are delicious – especially with a self-righteousness sauce!
Vegans? There's not enough meat on them and they take forever to clean. I know, I'm dead. Shutting up now.
You know what kills me about people like Jeann? They don't understand that their off-putting attitude is actually doing more harm to the cause of vegetarianism than good. I'm vegan, but I also know that being preachy and self-righteous doesn't make anyone want to follow your advice. Jeann's comments are so misguided that I'm honestly kind of wondering if she's serious. I hope she's not, but I have a sinking feeling that she is, in fact, just that clueless.
Jeann is a he/she so his/her opinion does not count.
What a refreshing change to hear from a reasonable-minded vegan. YOU are welcome anywhere.
Thanks for tarring us all with one brush.
honesty is the best policy
but deception is so much more fun!
guess we know who wears the pants in that family.
I want to know her trick. I love me some eggplant, and can't grow it.
At last, a nice person.
I was 7, camping with my dad, and he prepared freeze-dried peas with dinner. I gagged with my first bite and begged him to not make me eat them. When he insisted, I pleaded, saying that I could not keep them down. When he demanded that I eat the reconstituted peas, I took a big bite...
...and puked all over.
Or peas for a month.
My folks were quite determined that it's your head that controls your stomach.
Kathleen's mom sounds like a piece of work.
You got that one right!
(Hey Kathleen's Dad: You DON'T want mom to eat it. She only eats things she's cooked until they are gray! :) )
I kept telling K's Mom she'd like it if she'd only eat it, but she always made that face and said "No!"
DITTO!!! Did that with a chicken pot pie.
Ok, GROSS ALERT (don't read my comment if it you are eating lunch):
When I was a child, I hated zucchini. When my parents finally made me eat it, I barfed right on the plate. My parents never made me eat it again.
If I'd done that my mother would have served me zucchini for every single meal for a month.
I have a nephew who can throw up at will, and he will at the dinner table every time his parents tell him to eat just one little bite. It's a battle of wills....
And Will's getting tired of it, too. He puked on ME yesterday night.
We don't know Mrs. Max. Maybe a warm, polite but firm "No thank you" doesn't cut it in the Max household. That might be tantamount to total rejection to a person so obsessed with growing a particular vegetable. I'll bet Max didn't drag himself out of a warm bed in the middle of the night to perforate eggplant for the sheer fun of it all.
Refused and it was no big deal.
Told my parents that I hated green beans, boiled cabbage and brussel sprouts. For the most part they accepted it. Tried eggplant and cantaloupe as an adult and found I didn't care much for them either.
We hate you too.
Why y'all hatin' an' e'ythang? Y'all need to show more love .... and pass that o-ray-gan-o over.
Ya know, 'round these parts, they pull the plug on vegetables.
Call any vegetable . . . and the chances are good.
I love Max! how fun for him to be so devious...I love all vegetables except the eggplant. the best way for me to eat them and accept them is in Indian Food or pureed and spiced up like a hummus
You are barbaric people and I hate you all. Eat me raw. (bursts into tears)
This is why we don't like you! Too emotional.
It's why chicken [me] is more popular.
Don't you guys start up again.
I burn on the way in and on the way out. Bet you all can't say that, can you?
You are a pain in the Azz
"Ring of Fire" was about jalapeños.
I'm small and red,but I'll burn your Azz.
I'll blow you out my Azz while playing the bagpipes.
Stop saying I'm heartless. Even if it's true. (bursts into tears)
You coming over tonight?
Natrönium pods. I always hated those things, and one day I fed them all to the Meutroid. Ha! Ha! There was much vomiting of natrönium that day, let me tell you.
Wait, that was you?
Faked an allergic reaction.
You felt the need to let everyone know which you voted for?
I voted for faking an allergic reaction, too.
We are a part of a CSA which gave us eggplant. I don't like the stuff, but my wife and I tried making eggplant parm with it. My older daughter,6, ate some and clearly didn't like it like me her father. My 3 year old ate what was there on her plate. My wife is the one that likes it. I had the really thin pieces with a lot of cheese and sauce so that I could tolerate it.
Wow, that is some kind of dysfunctional relationship. His wife loved growing eggplant, so rather than have the forthrightness to just say, "I don't like eggplant. I know you love growing it, and it's not *your* eggplant I don't like, it's just eggplant in general. Feel free to grow and cook it for yourself or others, I'd just prefer not to eat it personally," he ruined his wife's hobby and caused her to be completely bummed out for years until she finally decided that she was a failure. That's like going out and ruining your spouse's motorcycle every night because you don't want to ride on it and they keep offering to take you on rides. Just decline, and let them enjoy their hobby themselves! I'm really glad that as far as I know neither my wife nor myself have ever resorted to this kind of passive-aggressive sabotage where just having an adult conversation would have worked fine.
EXACTLY. This guy dislikes it so much (and perhaps his wife won't take no for an answer from him, which is ALSO kinda crappy), to he uses subterfuge to undermine her efforts instead of being forthright and honest.
THAT is saving a marriage?! The marriage is a sham...neither side will accept the other's differences...kinda sad actually.
I think that both parties may be to blame. I used to live with a woman who had no respect for my food preferences. Her line to me was always "but you've never had MY____" as though she had some magical touch that made any dish extraordinary. No thanks means no thanks.
Truth, while I do see your point, sometimes it is true the other way around, my husband grew up on canned vegtables and would eat nothing else. He now inhales brocoli, asparagus, zuchini and yes even brussel sprouts, sometimes it helps just to try it a new way and you MAY find that you like it. My father was a chef so we experienced a lot of different foods growing up and I have always asked hubby to try it just once and if he doesn't like it? I would never ask him to try it again...and coincidentally the only veg so far? Eggplant LOL :)
Why does everybody hate me? I hate you back. (bursts into tears)
I've never met a true Italian who didn't like "their mother's" eggplant parm. Let that keep you warm .... or rather baked .... at night.
Irfon-Kim Ahmad
Thanks for giving me the idea to sabotage my husbands motorcycle at night. I have no desire to ride with him but he keeps asking. It doesn't matter how nice or rude I tell him I don't want anything to do with the dangerous death trap he keeps asking me to ride with him.
By the way. Maybe his wife was the same way. Maybe he told her he abhored Eggplant but because of her love of the plant she thought she could change his mind. She probably thought I'll cook it 100 different ways and some how win him over with my favorite vegitable. When you are dealing with someone who doesn't get the message sometimes you have to take drastic messures.
I hate most vegitables and a lot of other foods because of the way my mom cooked them. She over cooked and over seasoned everything. Because she forced me to eat a bunch of stuff I hated. I will not try those food items even when someone else makes it. Making me sit at the dinner table until i finished what ever it was did not win me over. It just made me get smart about waiting til the rest of the family was watching something on tv then putting what ever it was back in the pot. If my boys don't like a food I do not force them to eat it. If they want variety they will have to go to my in-laws house. Or they might luck out and my husband will make a trip to the grocery store and buys things I will not purchase.
Then you need marriage counseling, not deceit.
I agree, I think the hubbie was being cruel and spineless.
It is not a surprise that so many Americans won't eat vegetables...Hence your obesity epidemic. The outcome of an unsophisticated palate.
I like vegetables – dipped in batter and deep fried. That's also how I like my snickers.
The comments section here is much better than the blog itself.
My favorite veggies are onion rings, followed by Brach's candy pumpkins.
Yay! Condescension and disdain, that will certainly get those 'unsophisticated' Americans to change their ways!
I love vegetables–and fresh fruit, for that matter–and I'm far from obese. However, you know what I don't like? Self-righteous, ignorant snobs with an irrational and completely unfounded superiority complex.
Please don't talk about our President or my wife and her girlfriends like that. Thank You.
@Sara, I agree!
Snobs are great dipped in batter and deep-dried. Wait, I'm dead. My bad.
^^ this one made me LOL ^^
@ Jeann....right because no other country has an obeseity issue. Whatever
Let's get this out of the way – I'm a picky little weirdo.
Husband tried to make me try some of his sushi the other day, I refused on the grounds that I've already tried it and disliked it, and I did my best to stare him down until he relented. Or, rather, til we paid the check and I could leave.
Also, when he gets a new beer he likes, he tries to get me to smell it. I discovered a long time ago that he won't stop asking until I smell it, so I just grab it, wrinkle my nose like I'm sniffing, make a nice face, and give it back.
Wow, you must be a ball of fun. (Sarcasm)
I hope you are better in bed than at the dinner table.
Have you tried to explain it to him? If you have and he continues to do it, he is a jerk.
Ok... that's just underhanded. I think Max's wife would have understood if he told her! She probably has her own food that she doesn't like! I'm certain that she would appreciate the truth much more than his lying about what was going on.
I'm straightforward with my food likes, dislikes, and Ok, I'll try it's.
Yeah right. You shoulda seen the chef's knife she was waving around when he tried to tell her about her homemade muffins.
I think Max is a genius!
I agree! What a novel way to solve a sticky problem. Underhanded? Yes. Deceiptful? Yes? Clever? Absolutely brilliant.
If Max would be underhanded and go to such lengths to sabotage his wife's eggplant, I'm sure there are a lot of other things Max does behind his wife's back that she might not like. It would be interesting to check back in a year or two and see if this couple is still together.
Otherwise, I think the author made up the story for entertainment purposes only.
Aside from when I was a child and was required to eat vegetables I didn't like, I've never had a big problem with people when I let them know I don't like something. At worst, I eat around it. At best, they just don't offer me the food I don't like. coughpeascough
I remember getting in trouble when I was in first or second grade, when a classmate brought in a homegrown eggplant (or maybe zucchini) for show and tell and I yelled out "Put it back in your pants".
Smile. I remember getting in trouble for tossing the peas under the table to my dog, Duke. Turned out that Duke didn't like 'em either.
I don't like those little green balls either. :)
They're small enough to swallow without chewing, though you can still taste the pea.
I disliked peas so much that when I forced down three of them at summer camp, it was noteworthy enough to call my mother. For some reason, she didn't seem impressed.
I don't like tasting p33.
Give peas a chance!!!
(had to be said)
My wife's brother hated peas... he used to put them in the pocket of their dining room table (the one that would have held the table leaves if they weren't being used), and she would vacuum them out every weekend when she was helping their mother with the housecleaning.
I learned how to swallow them whole by the spoonful washed down with milk- still hate them 30 years later, they are the ONLY veg from my youth I cannot find a way to enjoy.
I like vegetables. I like steamed broccoli, carrots, peas(I will eat them frozen) etc. My mom hates vegetables and will only eat a few and only if they are cooked to mush or canned. I didn't know what most vegetables tasted like until college. After loosing my job I moved in with my mother, partly because she is mostly blind, diabetic and needs my help.
I have noticed that my eating habits have declined, I have also gained a lot of weight. My mother and sister(who share the same bad eating habits) both have many heath issues, while my doctor,I have only been to the doctor twice in the last ten years, told me I was his healthiest patient. Aside from some foot pain caused by many years of long overtime hours my heath is perfect, my blood pressure low and my eyesight great.